In case it wasn’t enough for you that The Real Housewives Of Atlanta is on for essentially six months of the year, we now have two new spin-offs for you to add to your collection of Bravo knick knacks cluttering up your DVR. I don’t know how they choose which members of Andy Cohen‘s extended reality TV family get their own shows, but this time around it’s Kandi Burruss and Kim Zolciak. You know, because they’re such magnetic personalities. I’m worried that the network is starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel as far as stars, and also I’m running low on free time, personally, so I think we should have these two spinoffs duke it out so you can decide which to watch.
In one corner we have The Kandi Factory. It stars Kandi Burruss and it premiered last night,with Grammy-winning Kandi seeking out unknowns who have never had an opportunity in the music biz and shaping them into bankable stars. Each week, two new hopefuls come to her at the Kandi Factory, and she writes them an original song based on their lives, to make them relatable as artists. She has what she calls a ‘dream team’ of industry experts to transform each of these kids, and at the end of the week, whoever she thinks does the best gets to release the song and do a music video. They get to work really closely with Kandi, with makeovers and dance routines and everything. It’s like a mish-mash of a bunch of different reality shows. A talent competition and a makeover show and a mentoring thing…plus the personalities of the Housewives. Not too bad, Bravo. Last night starred Lauren, who wants to be a country star, and Darian, who’s a dance performer working on being secure in his own skin. There were attitudes, promise rings, and even a full onstage wipeout, so this is gonna be tough to beat, Miss Zolciak.
…especially because Kim’s show is just a montage of her busting out of the tops of dresses, being pregnant, talking about having sex, and revolving her wigs. At least, it has been in the past. Don’t Be Tardy… stars Kim Zolciak and premieres a week from now, on April 16th. There’s already been one season, called Don’t Be Tardy…For The Wedding, but I can’t imagine that the two seasons will be very different. It’s just your average reality show like RHOA, but without the marvelous NeNe Leakes to cut Kim back down to size when she starts acting crazy. Instead, it’ll just be Kroy wandering around putting his tongue in Kim’s mouth and them congratulating each other on making such adorable babies.
Just as Lauren beat Darian to come out on top in The Kandi Factory, so did The Kandi Factory come out on top of Don’t Be Tardy… in the battle of the spin-offs. I suppose I should wait until Kim’s show officially premieres next week, but I see it in my crystal ball, so I’m feeling cocky. I do still need some questions answered, though: like how Kim convinced Andy to give her a second season after storming off of Real Housewives Of Atlanta in the middle of their season. Unsolved mysteries, I guess.
(Image: Wet Paint)