We already live in a culture in which a Disney theme park ride has been turned into a wildly successful movie franchise starring Johnny Depp, and in which a board game gathering dust in your basement has become an action movie starring Rihanna. So it was only a matter of time before the movie business cashed in on popular kids’ show Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Usually, with movies like this, I would just roll my eyes and move on with my life. But now Will Arnett has been cast in the Turtles remake, and I’m starting to suspect I might go see it.
Will Arnett’s role in the CGI/live-action reboot is being kept secret for now, but The Hollywood Reporter points out that the characters Splinter and Shredder have not been cast. Since Shredder is a villain, I’m hoping that’s who Will turns out to be. As much as I liked Will as the nice guy on Up All Night, nothing compares to his scheming, whisper-voiced roles on Arrested Development and 30 Rock.
Megan Fox has already been cast in the film (produced by Michael Bay, so… explosions!) as the turtles’ friend April O’Neil.
I don’t know much about the Ninja Turtles, besides the fact that they’re named for Renaissance artists and that they’re teenagers and they’re mutants and they fight like ninjas. What I do know is that I like Will Arnett, and I am now dream-casting my favorite childhood shows with my favorite people.
Can we get Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph as the Powerpuff Girls? Emma Stone and Emma Watson in Sailor Moon? Can Nick Offerman play Johnny Bravo and Matt Damon play Doug Funnie? What do I have to do to make this happen, movie people?
Ninja Turtles is out on June 6, 2014, so go see it after you’ve watched Will in the new season of Arrested Development one hundred times.
Now when can we expect a remake of Mac and Me starring Paul Rudd and Conan O’Brien?