I want to start by saying that I don’t hate Snooki and JWoww.
The other day I wrote a recap of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami and a reader commented asking why I watch the show if I hate them. But I don’t hate them. I think people assume if you’re writing about reality stars, that you must have something against them, but that’s not the case. I like Snooki. I like JWoww. Hell, I like Jionni and Roger, too. They’re funny. They’re entertaining. They’re crazy. And something about them seems genuine. I know that might sound ridiculous because fake boobs and fake tans and loads of makeup don’t scream “genuine,” but they stay true to themselves and I like that. Like the theme song says, “I don’t care, I love it.”
Last night was the finale of the second season of Snooki and JWoww and it started with Snooki sitting in her car crying on the phone with Jenni. On the previous episode, Snooki got in a fight with Jionni after she admitted that she made out with Jenni and her friend Ryder while she was blackout drunk on her recent girls’ night out. Jionni didn’t like this because making out with your friends at a club is not a normal mom/fiance activity. Snooki tells Jenni, “I’m a good mom, I think.” It’s really sad and I took Snooki’s side on this one. I can totally see how Jionni wouldn’t like the making out with other people part, but she’s allowed to go out and have some fun. This is Snooki after all. (Ps. I just realized I refer to Jwoww as Jenni, but don’t call Snooki, Nicole. For some reason, this is what makes sense to me.) Jionni’s known Snooki for a while now. They met during the height of her Jersey Shore crazy days. He knew what he was getting into and while he might want her to change, and she clearly has matured some, he should know that some classic Snooki is always gonna be there.
Snooki and Jionni end up talking over what happened. Jionni calls Ryder “disgusting” which Snooki doesn’t argue, I think because she was just listening to his side of things, but I was still like, “Whoa! That’s harsh! How is she not defending her!?” Later, Snooki goes to pick up some take-out sushi (this is important for later!) and writes down her feelings on the matter in a pink leopard print book. Jionni understands where she’s coming from and he loves the sushi surprise, so they’re all good!
Jenni and Roger’s relationship is not. He’s been staying away from their house for a couple days because he and Jenni got in a fight when Jenni woke up still drunk the morning after the girls’ night. We know this because Jenni invites Snooki over and tells her about it while in her massive closet in front of a proportionately massive, but still insane, wall of jeans. She has so many freakin’ pairs of jeans, it looks like a Hollister display. It’s nuts. Anyway, after Snooki goes home, Jenni calls Roger to come over to talk and when he agrees, she goes out to buy sushi. Roger, like Jionni, loves the sushi surprise and after they talk things over, their relationship is back to normal as well. Basically, if you’re having relationship problems, order sushi and then bring that shit to your house. Your partner will love it. Sushi is one of my favorite foods and I was completely unaware of the secret power it holds.
With Jenni and Roger back on, Snooki makes last minute preparations for a surprise engagement party (Roger proposed to Jenni two episodes ago). Snooki tries calling around to different restaurants to inquire about their availability but can’t stop giggling whenever someone answers the phone because she “gets awkward.” It doesn’t make any sense, but I find it endearing which to a lot of people also probably doesn’t make sense. I can’t explain it, okay! Snooki is an acquired taste, like red wine; although I’ve never been able to acquire a taste for red wine so I guess I can understand if some people will just never like Snooki.
Eventually, Snooki books a place for the party and the next day she and Jionni head over to set up decorations. They’ve invited all the Jersey Shore roommates and have told Jenni and Roger that it’s a “meet Lorenzo” party. Jenni puts on this crazy tight mini dress with long, bell sleeves and an extremely boobalicious neckline that laces up with a gold chain. Rogers comments that she looks like Elvira and that she’ll “sell a lot of Coors Light tonight” which I thought was amazing.
The roommates all show up to the party except Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. (I believe he stopped really being friends with Snooki during Jersey Shore..?) Pauly D takes a look at Lorenzo and says,”You did good Snooks.” I someday want someone to complement me on my child in this exact same way. Soon, Jenni and Roger show up and the surprise works! My favorite part of the party was definitely the poster Snooki made that read, “Finally Booboo! Congrats Freaks!” and then randomly had the numbers 27 and 37 on it which I realized were Jenni and Rogers ages, respectively.
The party goes on without a hitch, but the episode ends with one last double date with Snooki, JWoww and their dudes. I think only because this makes an appropriate time for a montage of things that happened throughout the season. Most notably, Lorenzo’s birth and Jenni’s engagement. The camera zooms out from the restaurant and just when I think everything’s been said and the show is ending on a conservative note, Jenni says, “Okay guys, ready to get outta here?” and Snooki goes, “Yeah. I’ve been holding in my poop for a while.”
And so, we too shall hold our proverbial poop until the next season of Snooki and JWoww… if there is one, that is. If not, I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll see of them. I’m making poop metaphors, so I could probably do without their influence for a little bit anyway.