Bestill my beating, pessimistic heart: there now officially will come a day when Jay Leno no longer resides on The Tonight Show. Jay will really and truly have to empty out his desk and hit the dusty trail. He’ll have to bundle everything into a sack and set off on the open road like a hobo, striking off toward the horizon with his prominent chin romantically eclipsing the setting sun. And then the next day, that very same sun will rise on Jimmy Fallon, bringing his boyish, hilarious charm to Jay’s largely blue-haired audience.
This has been rumored for so long that I honestly can’t really believe that the moment when it’s official is finally is here. Jay’s contract will end in 2014, and he insists that this time he really will step aside and let his successor take over. In a statement released today, Jay said:
“I hope you’re as lucky as me and hold on to the job until you’re the old guy. . . . If you need me, I’ll be at the garage.”
Ooh yeah, that reminds me, Jimmy. When you get in the new studio, you should probably check to see if Jay left any cars lying around. He has so many that there’s almost sure to be one carelessly left in a desk drawer or propped behind a moldy old curtain. Lorne MichaelsÂ will take over as producer, and Jimmy is pretty psyched about the change in time and venue:
“I’m really excited to host a show that starts today instead of tomorrow.”
Be as excited as you want, Jimmy, but just bear in mind that you’re gonna have to come up with a ton of anti-NBC jokes to fill Jay’s shoes. So you better hop on that — and don’t forget that they’re not supposed to be funny.
(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)