Guys, have you been paying attention to Vanessa Hudgens lately? I think we all need to agree as a society to figure out what’s going on with her. Because it’s been weird, y’all. She’s been booty-poppin’ and toilet-obsessing her way around late night talk shows to promote Spring Breakers, and now she’s extending her kooky behavior into the world of social media by joining Twitter and Tumblr. And she’s already using it to confuse us.
Namely, she posted a brief video for her new song “$$$ex.” That’s right. Apparently Ke$ha’s one dollar sign just wasn’t enough. Three is the magic number for replacing the letter S with a dollar sign. Good to know. And titling a song “Sex” wasn’t scandalous enough. Vanessa had to get some unconventional symbols in there just in case people didn’t understand how irreverent it was.
Vanessa collaborated on the Spring Breakers-inspired song with a girl group called YLA (Young LA, but that’s just too long), and the video they posted is titled “30 $$$ex.” Get it? It’s short for “30 $$$econds,” because that’s how long the video is, but it also has the song title in it. Forgive me if you think I’m overreacting, but realizing the double meaning blew my mind more than that time I realized I was looking at the Disney D backwards.
This was Vanessa’s explanation for the video:
“We just wanted to dance and get crazy! You don’t have to go to Spring Break, you can bring Spring Break to youuu! We had ours in the kitchen. LOL! Sooo much fun.”
The video is a take on the Harlem Shake trend. I thought that had finally gone away to die of Internet old age, which is like 2 weeks. But Vanessa Hudgens is keeping it in weird kitchen-dancing purgatory.
Do we have the makings of a younger female James Franco here? I’m worried his weirdness has rubbed off on Vanessa. It already rubbed off on Ashley Benson, who has become James’ weird music video partner-in-crime. Amazingly, Selena Gomez seems to have escaped Spring Breakers unscathed, besides being a little freaked out by James’ penchant for staying in character on set.
Is Vanessa’s next move to enroll in five colleges simultaneously and appear on a soap opera? Can we all work together to stop this before it escalates to abandoning Anne Hathaway at the Oscars?