It’s reunion time on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and let’s just say this reunion doesn’t feel so good. The women don’t look comfortable at all. Brandi Glanville seems nervous. Yolanda Foster looks semi-confident, but this is her first reunion. She has no idea what lies ahead. Taylor Armstrong looks tired. And Adrienne Maloof is nowhere to be seen. They’re all just acting awkward, and that probably has something to do with the fact that everyone is out in the open.
It’s pretty clear that lines have been drawn, and friendships, like that of Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards, have been tested. I decided to switch it up this week and give you a little rundown on each housewife and how they have royally managed to piss off every other housewife. Seriously, no one is safe. Everyone has done something shitty. And everyone else is pissed about it. Now let’s get this party started, shall we?
[NO PHOTO THANKS TO A NO SHOW]
I’m going to get this bullshit out of the way now, so that we never have to talk about her ever again after this. As we all know, Adrienne has been super pissed off the whole season because Brandi Glanville outed her. Brandi brought up the “rumor” that Ms. Maloof may have used a surrogate to have her kids. This was a continuous storyline throughout the season and has allegedly been the reason for the Maloof-Nassif divorce. Her “last act” as a housewife was not showing up to the reunion. Oh no, what will any of us do without her? I miss the tinsel in her hair already. Are we done mourning the loss of Adrienne Maloof? Yeah? Okay great. Moving on.
Brandi has been at the center of almost every single confrontation this entire season. Whether she was telling Adrienne to “shut the fuck up” or stealing Lisa’s friendship away from Kyle, Brandi was made out to be a villain and she was hated by the women (and some of the men too!). Andy Cohen focuses on her brash and in-your-face attitude. He asks her if maybe since Brandi is always getting into scuffles with the housewives, could there be a possibility that she is in fact the problem? My sweet, perfect angel of a woman responds, “I mean, anything is possible, Andy!” Brandi makes some comments about Kyle and Kim actually don’t like each other at all. She also makes the bold statement that Kim would love to see Kim fail. This completely sends Kyle into a huge spiral of tears and finger pointing. Brandi is the real deal, people. She really speaks her mind. She even gets into it with Mauricio Umansky over the tone he took with her at the party at the sauna thing. It’s a huge yawn-fest, and I’m over it.
Yolanda gets a lot of flack in Part 1 of the reunion for being kind of stuck up and snobbish. She’s criticized for her “I’m better than you” attitude and for her asshole husband, David Foster. I agree with Brandi when she says that Yolanda is a “gangster bitch” who doesn’t take shit from anyone. You also have to love Yolanda because she coined the amazing phrase, “Who is Adrienne Maloof in this world?” The women comment that Yolanda is a little more standoffish and cold. The viewers commented on Yolanda’s old school attitude (claiming sexual preference is a choice/telling her Mexican movers to learn English). She gives semi-legit explanations for all of this, and we love Yolanda. We love Yolanda even more after we learn about her scary diagnosis of Lyme disease. I cannot imagine going through that kind of confusion and fogginess. Poor Yolanda. Not only is she dealing with Lyme disease, but now she has to defend herself against Kyle’s allegations that she said that Lisa was full of shit.
Obviously the main focus of Taylor’s life is her suspected drinking problem. This whole season we’ve seen Taylor fight, talk major shit, laugh like a hyena and get wasted. Reeling from her husband’s suicide and financial woes, it seemed like she was just headed down a dangerous path. We especially thought she was the hottest of messes when she didn’t even know who was watching her child while she was boarding a private jet with some dude. She clears this up by explaining that it was a miscommunication between her mother and her nanny. I believe her for some reason. Maybe this is partially because I don’t want to believe otherwise. She did seem wasted on the phone, but such is life. Taylor admits that she was drinking too much this season and was using alcohol as a coping mechanism.
It seems that Lisa is hurt and a bit subdued throughout this whole reunion—a lot more quiet than usual. Andy focuses on Lisa and Kyle’s crumbling friendship that seems to be damaged because of Kyle’s lack of loyalty. Anytime that Lisa gets attacked or in an argument, Kyle was never there for her the way she wanted her to be. There is clearly love between these two women, but there is also a lot of hurt. Lisa thinks she needs to regain her confidence in Kyle because she lost trust in her. Kyle called Lisa many different names and attacked her character—which is not the Vanderpump way—so when Lisa doesn’t believe the stuff that Kyle and Kim are saying.
Kyle is on the defense for the majority of this reunion. She has to defend herself for not sticking up for Lisa when she needed her. She has to defend herself against Yolanda who calls her “two-faced.” She has to justify her shit-talking ways by claiming it as “venting to her girlfriends.” It’s hard for Kyle to catch a break. I remember in Season 1 when Kyle said that she cannot stand having unresolved conflict with anyone. It eats her alive inside. I totally empathize with Kyle, and I know that unlike some of these other women, Kyle doesn’t get off on all this fighting. I feel bad for her. Unfortunately, she seems at her wits end with Yolanda and opens up another can of worms. Apparently, Yolanda talked some mad shit about Lisa while they were all in Paris. Allegedly, Yolanda called Lisa a “phony”, a “fake,” and that she is only pretending to care about Kim to look good. Uh oh. Kyle seems really hurts about this distrust that Lisa feels towards her. It seems like their friendship is pretty much dunzo. Sad to see, but sometimes friendships end.
The main focus of Kim during this reunion is her continuing issues with her sobriety and her tumultuous relationship with her sister, Kyle. She says that every day she is fighting for her life, and she is offended by everyone’s suspicion that she had relapsed in Paris. She also goes in on Brandi and says that she is a mean little girl that starts shit for no reason (Kind of true?). Kim is extremely weepy during this whole reunion, and I wonder if it’s something to do with this all being too real for her. She is extremely hurt over the fact that Kyle had mentioned something in her interviews about Kim not “looking sober.” Families are a bitch, man.
Whew! That two-parter reunion was exhausting. See you guys next season!
(Photos: Bravo TV)