Mila Kunis is pregnant with Ashton Kutcher’s baby. Or so a Mila Kunis Facebook fan page claimed today in an attempt to make us all obsess over an incredibly beautiful fetus that apparently doesn’t exist. A fetus I instantly imagined getting great coverage for her use of a placenta as a womb-exit-accessory in Esquire’s annual infant ranking issue.
But alas, it was all a prank. “Baby? As in one of those cry-y things that can’t even use a toilet? No. Absolutely not. Ew. Gross. Mila, hold my hair back, I’m going to be sick. Just kidding. Punk’d you. I’m not going to barf. But still, no.” is the statement Ashton Kutcher will likely issue to People later this evening.
Do you guys think our great-grandparents knew the future would be so cool? Sure we don’t have flying cars or teleportation stations or even DVRs that can handle recording more than two shows at a time. But we do have people willing to take the time out of their day to not only impersonate people on Facebook, but also impersonate their pregnancies.
It’s amazing and it’s awe-inspiring and I hope you appreciate how lucky you are to be living in such a phenomenal time in our country’s history. Think about what our parents had to do to impersonate a celebrity when they were in their twenties? First they’d have to find their quill pen, then they’d have to write a convincing letter, then they’d have to hitch up the horse and buggy, ride it 10 miles to town, avoid the redcoats who had a “zero tolerance for gossip policy and mail it to Paul Revere to share around town. All we have to do is create a fan page.