With the exception of Opposite Day, there’s no day on the Internet quite at confusing as April Fool’s Day. But that’s only because 90% of the content already circulating on the Internet already seems too good/weird/wtf/unbelievable/really?! to be true — to the point that you have to believe that these stories are part of a carefully crafted prank that took entire teams months to dream up.
Take every headline on The Daily Mail for example. Or the comments following an article comparing One Direction to the Jonas Brothers. It’s literally and metaphorically and figuratively unbelievable that these things are things are actually happening in real life. And that’s why we’re finally calling shenanigans on them! We’re done being pranked by celebrities and TV networks and vague give-me-attention Facebook statuses. Today’s the day we look these obvious pranks in the eye and call them out for being the practical jokes that they are!
So as you’re cruising the Internet Superhighway today, keep an eye out for these 9 neverending April Fool’s Day pranks. After all, they’ve gone on for so long that it’s time we stop falling for them.
1. Amanda Bynes’ Twitter Account. I’m pretty sure today is the day when we find out that every tweet she’s tweeted is all part of a modern art project designed to test our moral aptitude. Becaues there’s no way she seriously typed out the words “I want Drake to murder my vagina.” Right? That’s crazy, right?
2. The Current Bravo Line-up. L.A Shrinks, Married to Medicine, Dukes of Melrose, 9-part Real Housewives reunions. C’mon guys, we’re onto you and your whole “these are real shows” prank. As if a shrink would let a camera into her sessions!
3. Lindsay Lohan’s Life since Mean Girls. Well, I’ve got to hand it to LiLo, because a prank this big takes a lot of time. Also a lot of secret meetings with “police” and “judges” and “lawyers” to arrange. Was Liz & Dick a little over the top? Sure, but pranks that run this long always have their ups and downs.
4. Hangover 3. Like they’re really making this movie for the third time. Who would invest money in that? And also who would go see it again? Puh-lease!
5. Football. Alright, I’m all for a long running prank that involves getting to eat nachos at a bar every Sunday, but this one’s gone on for far too long. Let’s get back to TV programming that counts.
6. Two-Hour TV Shows. While the networks don’t generally all get along, they certainly teamed up nicely throughout this year to bring us two-hour episodes of The Voice and American Idol and The Bachelor. Sure it was fun at first, but I think we’re (that we’re that includes us and our DVRs) all at the point now where we’re not finding this joke funny anymore.
7. Chris Brown’s comeback. A man savagely beats his girlfriend on the way to the Grammys and then has a comeback four years later that refers to his violence as bad-boy antics. “Okay!” You’re going to have to wake up pretty early in the morning to convince me that one’s real.
8. This season of Revenge. I know I’m not the only one who no idea what’s happening. How did the show let it get to the point where Daniel Greyson understands what’s going on before I do? Sure it’s funny that they have 1400 unnecessary characters, but I’m ready to turn this complex and complicated comedy back into a finance-free drama.
9. Ashley Olsen. High fives to Mary-Kate Olsen for pulling off the twin prank for so long. I know I’m not the only one who’s sitting here, shaking my hand and wondering how she possibly played both roles in Billboard Dad. Wow, just wow. Mail the girl her belated Oscar today.