It Took A Lot Of Money To Make Adam Driver Look This Cheap

Adam Driver in his boxers  Flaunt Magazine April 1, 2013

Girls Season 2 is over, but that doesn’t mean we need be deprived of the cast in various stages of undress. Because everyone’s favorite ex-boyfriend Adam Driver is the star of a 7-page fashion spread. The shoot from this month’s Flaunt Magazine depicts Adam as you’ve never seen him before: testing out man scarves, wearing gold jewelry, and posing with sock harnesses.

In the article, written by John-Paul Pryor, Driver “discusses acting in a post-porn world.” And while this all sounds very exciting, we’re way more concerned with the fact that these pictures make Adam look like he’s channeling  Lord Scott Disick. And fashion Adam looks even more out of place than Civil War era Adam that time he was a military page in Lincoln, so get ready…

Adam Driver hand over his mouth April 1, 2013

 

Maybe I just have a stereotype against man jewelry, but a guy who wears it screams bad decision to me. Like, crushing up valium in your drink bad decision. The purple suit in the this shot is Vivienne Westwood man, and the jewelry is Cartier.

Adam Driver in his boxers Flaunt Magazine April 1, 2013

In this picture, he’s taken off the jacket he wears in the spread’s intro photo, because you’re playing strip poker and it’s your turn. No pants, no blazer, no shame.

Adam Driver jumping into a wall April 1, 2013Adam Driver with a cane Flaunt Magazine April 1, 2013
 

Check out his fake apartment! The spread was shot at Penthouse 8 in New York’s Tribeca Grand hotel, “which features 900 sq feet, floor-to ceiling windows, and a rooftop terrace.” Somebody’s moving on up from that gutted warehouse space in Bushwick! If addition to those amenities, the suite comes standard with an oak wall to jump sideways into. And you even get a cane! But don’t worry about people getting the wrong idea. Your friends will know that the cane is an accent that says, “I’ve arrived.” And it doesn’t hurt to have around for the occasional rage-fueled smashing fit.

Adam Driver pouting in a scarf April 1, 2013

It would be a lie to say that Driver doesn’t make me feel a bit tingly south of the Equator sometimes. But the Flaunt Magazine Adam looks like the kind of dude who only drinks Perrier and uses more expensive hair product than me. The Adam I’m used to stomps around his apartment smashing plywood and didn’t get an Iphone until like, last week. And even though we’re not sure how good of a guy he was in the first place, we vastly prefer him to this slick dandy whom we’re just inclined not to trust.

Despite the convincing pout and the sense of apathy that he still brings to this, he looks super uncomfortable. He’s like the high school nerd who moved to the city and got a pick-up-artist makeover, and now asphyxiates his low self-esteem within a cloud of Gaultier Homme and contempt. But despite the fact that this shoot is sort of confusing for this actor’s persona, I bet he smells nice.

(Photos from Flaunt Magazine)

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    • Jill O’Rourke

      I think he needs Julie Andrews to teach him about posture.