Justin Bieber is on a streak of great ideas lately, eh? He’s smoking weed, wearing diaper pants, stripping down in Polish airports while on tour, breaking up with Selena Gomez, reuniting with Selena Gomez, crying about not being nominated for Grammys, the list goes on.
Actually the list goes right on to German customs, who detained Bieber’s pet monkey because Biebs thought it was perfectly acceptable to try and sneak a monkey past German customs.
For those of you out there not lucky enough to have experienced German customs like myself, let me tell you something: You don’t fuck with German customs. Are you kidding me? They don’t care who you are or how much money you have or how saggy your pleather crotch is! They will think absolutely nothing of making your traveling experience one of the most terrifying of your life. Germany is a wonderful country filled with warm, friendly people. Those people do not work in the customs department of any German airports. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bieber’s diaper pants weren’t filled with the crap that they scared out of him
Anyway, the poor little capuchin monkey, Mally, (I only know what that particular monkey breed is thanks to Thora Birch and the underrated, classic film Monkey Trouble… Harvey Keitel is in it so obviously it was nominated for several awards) is still with authorities. Our good friend Source says that “Bieber is heartbroken.”
Yeah, I bet. So how about next time you decide to be a jackass while traveling through Europe, you stick to airport strip shows and not possibly endangering the welfare of an innocent animal? In the words of Jesse Katzopolis, “Capisce?”