• Sat, Mar 30 2013

Jennifer Lopez’s Demands Are So Annoyingly Pompous She’s Been Replaced By Pitbull

Jennifer Lopez Has High Demands

Sometimes I just want to say “thank you” to celebrities for making my job so easy.  This is one of those times. Jennifer Lopez was “in the running” to perform for the opening ceremonies of India’s Premier League cricket tournament (which doesn’t sound like anything even remotely lucrative, but reportedly comes with a viewing audience of 60 million people, so…yeah) but has now been completely dropped because of her insane demands in exchange for her performance.

So, thanks, Jenny from the Block, for insisting that all of your furniture be white as well as every single piece of food you ingest.  Thanks, Ms. Bronx, for demanding white flowers and candles and probably the white bones of tiny little Indian children to be scattered across your dressing room.  And as for the “gaggle” (oh HuffPo, you and your word boners) of hotel rooms for you and your entourage of managers and stylists in addition to your private plane?  Gracias.  Muchas gracias, in fact.

I often wonder if this kind of shit is some parts folklore, a dash of myth, but mostly truth.  And it should be noted that the rich and famous do enjoy fucking with people and taking creative liberties with their demands.  But something tells me that when it comes to down-to-earth, earnest women like Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez, there’s 100% truth and 0% self-awareness involved.

The cherry on top of this bloated, Robin Leach-esque sundae?  Pitbull, crappy rapper extraordinaire, gets face time with 60 million cricket tourney lovers.  Not sure who’s being punished more here, but whatever.  Although I’d love to see a list of his traveling and performance preferences.

(Photo: WENN)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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  • Guest

    Each premiere like team is worth at least $150-200 million dollars!! And watched and supported by millions! So it is very lucrative….

    • Winteraries

      Each share is worth that much in each teams so teams are actually worth way more

  • J

    racist writer.

    • http://twitter.com/cassyhough Cassandra Hough

      And how is that exactly?

    • http://twitter.com/Nuocer Inverted

      Probably the assumption that performing at the opening ceremonies of a cricket tournament in India “doesn’t sound like anything even remotely lucrative.”

      Anyway… Katy Perry performed last year. I guess they’re going for international pop acts now.

    • http://twitter.com/cassyhough Cassandra Hough

      I meant cricket… who thinks of cricket as being the kind of sport international pop acts are clawing their way into??

    • http://www.facebook.com/holy.knightrider Srikar Ganguly

      and do you know anything remotely about Cricket? try to get some facts before you go on to write something!

    • NikAmi

      It may interest you to know that cricket is the second most popular sport on the planet, only behind soccer. We Americans have a very USA-centric world view, but if you step outside of that, you would see that most people don’t care about American things like football or basketball, both of which are ranked at 9th behind such sports as field hockey and volleyball. As an Indian-American myself, I don’t take what you said to be racist, merely a sad commentary on the lack of world view that so many Americans share.

    • http://twitter.com/cassyhough Cassandra Hough

      Sorry I can’t hear you, I’m drowning in a sea of my own ignorance over this incredibly serious blog post tone.

    • Guest

      Its rude not to do your research before hand and treat IPL as if its nothing! The rest of the world watches cricket (as they do soccer) and its one of the most lucrative sports…i guess they need a david beckham type of personality to bring it some interest in the states….imran khan ( now running for prime minister), shane warren, billionaire tendulkar, ect are just not “lucrative enough” or big enough personalities….

  • sandman

    “Jennifer Lopez was “in the running” to perform for the opening ceremonies of India’s Premier League cricket tournament (which doesn’t sound like anything even remotely lucrative, but reportedly comes with a viewing audience of 60 million people, so…yeah)”

    Cassandra- the IPL is highly lucrative with team values grossing far higher than e.g. English Premier League. Couple it with vastly higher viewing numbers, a country with high economic growth and foreign investment. In number terms- it is the 5th largest sports organisation in world rankings (just below FIFA and higher than Wimbledon and F1). And all this in only 2 years. Current growth plans see it becoming bigger than the NFL in the next 4-5 years, an organisation that’s not far from 100 years old.

  • http://twitter.com/KathrynDyan Katy Hearne

    “word boner”! ” crappy rapper extraordinaire”! Mariah Carey being down to earth! This article was exactly what I needed on this slow monday morning!

    • Ella

      Crapper?? O.0

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