Sometimes I just want to say “thank you” to celebrities for making my job so easy. Â This is one of those times. Jennifer Lopez was “in the running” to perform for the opening ceremonies of India’s Premier League cricket tournament (which doesn’t sound like anything even remotely lucrative, but reportedly comes with a viewing audience of 60 million people, so…yeah) but has now been completely dropped because of her insane demands in exchange for her performance.
So, thanks, Jenny from the Block, for insisting that all of your furniture be white as well as every single piece of food you ingest. Â Thanks, Ms. Bronx, for demanding white flowers and candles and probably the white bones of tiny little Indian children to be scattered across your dressing room. Â And as for the “gaggle” (oh HuffPo, you and your word boners) of hotel rooms for you and your entourage of managers and stylists in addition to your private plane? Â Gracias. Â Muchas gracias, in fact.
I often wonder if this kind of shit is some parts folklore, a dash of myth, but mostly truth. Â And it should be noted that the rich and famous do enjoy fucking with people and taking creative liberties with their demands. Â But something tells me that when it comes to down-to-earth, earnest women like Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez, there’s 100% truth and 0% self-awareness involved.
The cherry on top of this bloated, Robin Leach-esque sundae? Â Pitbull, crappy rapper extraordinaire, gets face time with 60 million cricket tourney lovers. Â Not sure who’s being punished more here, but whatever. Â Although I’d love to see a list of his traveling and performance preferences.