Taylor Swift To Guest Star On New Girl In An Attempt To Out-Cute Zooey Deschanel

Taylor Swift sunglasses New York City March 27 2013

I don’t know if television will be able to handle what will occur on May 14th on Fox‘s New Girl season finale. Taylor Swift, she of the red lipstick and the eating of the cake without the plates, will guest star on the episode, which already stars Zooey Deschanel, she of the adorkableness and the wearing of the hipster glasses. And I think we might have a second big bang(s) on our hands here. I don’t think we’re going to survive it. Two go in, but only one emerges the cutest.

Taylor Swift isn’t playing herself, in the sense that she won’t be named Taylor Swift, but I don’t see how she can go on the show playing anyone unadorable, since she’ll be competing with Zooey, who is so totally focused on being cute all the time she has to ask her iPhone whether it’s raining. Taylor is shooting her scenes next week, and I predict the vegan cupcakes will hit the fan, only to be cleaned up by two animated birds.

Taylor will play an “important guest” at Cece and Shivrang’s wedding. New Girl fans know that Cece is destined to be with Schmidt, so hopefully Taylor’s important role will be ruining the ceremony somehow, if she can take a break from trying to out-cute Zooey’s character Jess.

Obviously my money is on Zooey. Taylor went from quirky to jerky when she dissed Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, whereas Zooey just keeps getting cuter. She adopted matching puppies, for crying out loud. Does it get any cuter than that? Plus, in this week’s episode she dressed up as Elvis. I mean… hello!

Aside from the obvious battle of the cutie-pies that will occur, are we really expecting Taylor to be funny? She’s not really known as a laugh-riot, considering how seriously she seems to take people’s harmless jokes about her. But who knows what’ll happen? Seemingly unfunny people have proven themselves to be excellent sitcom guest stars. Britney Spears has done it on a few shows. So maybe we shouldn’t write her off just yet. Except I really really want to.

One thing’s for sure. The playing-ukulele-in-a-vintage-petticoat competition will be a tight race.

(Photo: Ralph, PacificCoastNews.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • Alexis Rhiannon

      This will be a battle to the death! Also major props for ‘big bangs’. Very fetch.

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    • http://www.facebook.com/aalanmr Alan Martins Rodrigues

      Is any of the writers in this website a mature and professional person? Because the only thing I see are ridiculous attempts at something too childish to be called “journalism”. To criticize something isn’t the same thing as to spill bullshit and unfunded mean comments all over it, you guys, it’s about time you all learn how exactly adults do in the real world, and being rude to every one you dislike or that has a contrary opinion form yours isn’t a very good starter, ESPECIALLY if said people belong to your target audience (I’m looking at you Alexis Rhiannon), just saying. Oh, while we’re talking about how to be an adult, ignoring someone’s arguments in a discussion and replying with a “boo hoo” of sorts is NOT a mature answer. Have a good day. :)

      • Jenni

        I think you meant to say, “are any of the writers…”and to answer your question, no. No one who works here is professional or mature or even a person. Yep, that’s right. We’re all dogs. Check out our fastest journalist below!

      • http://www.facebook.com/aalanmr Alan Martins Rodrigues

        Thank you for proving me right, you’re such a kind person :3

      • Jenni

        Dog, Alan, how many times must I tell you that I’m a dog.

      • http://www.facebook.com/aalanmr Alan Martins Rodrigues

        :)

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Grammar. Just grammar.

      • http://www.facebook.com/aalanmr Alan Martins Rodrigues

        English not being my first language. Just english not being my first language. :)

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        It’s weird — you’re using a smiley face, but for some reason I don’t feel like you really mean it. Please advise?!?

      • http://www.facebook.com/aalanmr Alan Martins Rodrigues

        Do you watch Community? There’s this great episode I think you’d relate to.

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