I don’t know if television will be able to handle what will occur on May 14th on Fox‘s New Girl season finale. Taylor Swift, she of the red lipstick and the eating of the cake without the plates, will guest star on the episode, which already stars Zooey Deschanel, she of the adorkableness and the wearing of the hipster glasses. And I think we might have a second big bang(s) on our hands here. I don’t think we’re going to survive it. Two go in, but only one emerges the cutest.
Taylor Swift isn’t playing herself, in the sense that she won’t be named Taylor Swift, but I don’t see how she can go on the show playing anyone unadorable, since she’ll be competing with Zooey, who is so totally focused on being cute all the time she has to ask her iPhone whether it’s raining. Taylor is shooting her scenes next week, and I predict the vegan cupcakes will hit the fan, only to be cleaned up by two animated birds.
Taylor will play an “important guest” at Cece and Shivrang’s wedding. New Girl fans know that Cece is destined to be with Schmidt, so hopefully Taylor’s important role will be ruining the ceremony somehow, if she can take a break from trying to out-cute Zooey’s character Jess.
Obviously my money is on Zooey. Taylor went from quirky to jerky when she dissed Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, whereas Zooey just keeps getting cuter. She adopted matching puppies, for crying out loud. Does it get any cuter than that? Plus, in this week’s episode she dressed up as Elvis. I mean… hello!
Aside from the obvious battle of the cutie-pies that will occur, are we really expecting Taylor to be funny? She’s not really known as a laugh-riot, considering how seriously she seems to take people’s harmless jokes about her. But who knows what’ll happen? Seemingly unfunny people have proven themselves to be excellent sitcom guest stars. Britney Spears has done it on a few shows. So maybe we shouldn’t write her off just yet. Except I really really want to.
One thing’s for sure. The playing-ukulele-in-a-vintage-petticoat competition will be a tight race.
(Photo: Ralph, PacificCoastNews.com)