Professional ghost-sex-haver and beard enthusiast Ke$ha has done a lot of offensive things in her short career, many of them urine-related. She’s single-handedly raised every human being’s eyebrows an average of two millimeters. Permanently. You probably didn’t even notice, but that’s how she gets you. It seemed the only thing Ke$ha hadn’t done (besides washing her hair) was star in her own reality show. Well, that’s all changing now, because the trailer for her MTV series My Crazy Beautiful Life is out, and watching it will probably give you glitter in all kinds of places you didn’t know existed. You’ve been warned.
Last month we saw a preview clip from the show, in which Ke$ha “baby birds” a cannoli into men’s mouths. If you saw that and thought, “Well, this is just too darn normal and boring for me,” then you’re in luck with this new trailer.
Early in the trailer, there is a shot of Ke$ha saying “I feel like I’m gonna puke,” so you know it’s gonna be good. MTV is then kind enough to share various dirty, glittery, burp-infested moments from the show. Like Ryan Lochte’s reality show, you might shake your head vigorously while watching but then surreptitiously jot down the premiere date (April 23, by the way) so you won’t forget to watch. It’s okay. We’re all in this together.
There’s a lot of crying in this trailer. And because Ke$ha always has glitter smeared around her eyes, she basically ends up crying glitter. It’s kind of poetic, really. Except not really at all. There are also the requisite references to penis dreams and putting beards in her mouth. Beards are very, very important to Ke$ha. She also pulls a guy’s pants down on the dance floor, so… there’s that.
We unfortunately don’t get a glimpse of Ke$ha drinking her own urine, which it’s been reported she does on the show, but they have to keep something a mystery. I’m personally just a little disappointed that there is no reference to ghost sex in the trailer. Or I should say, gho$t $ex. C’mon, Ke$ha, when are you gonna introduce us to the lucky guy? Does he look like Mick Jagger?
Watch the video below, and maybe be prepared to hose yourself down when it ends. I never knew glitter could make me feel so icky.