In case you needed any more proof that Phaedra Parks was crazy, besides the fact that she’s willing to have her life nationally televised and suck her husband’s tongue in public, look no further than her workout video for ‘Phine Booty’. That’s the new name of the artist formerly known as ‘Donkey Booty’, and the subject of the main portion of The Real Housewives of Atlanta this week. It might not have looked quite as stupid, but Kenya Moore filmed her workout video as well, for ‘Booty Boot Camp’, formerly titled ‘Stallion Booty’, just to piss Phaedra off. But neither one of them should’ve been worried about the other at all, because they’re turning out vastly different products. Phaedra and Apollo filmed their video in a big, glass-walled mansion with an infinity pool with her in a pea-green body suit marching in place next to a ‘fitness expert’ and making up lines on the spot, while Kenya had a professional studio, a body-baring outfit, and specific stretches and exercises worked out in advance.
It’s really kind of embarrassing to watch — it became really clear (to me, at least), that Kenya really did have a lot to offer Phaedra and Apollo in the whole workout video controversy. When Kenya said she’s already put in six weeks of work that she hadn’t gotten compensated for, I was kinda like, “Mmmkay yeah right, girl, keep twirlin’.” But after seeing the end results for both videos, it’s obvious that Kenya’s head was in the right place, and the stuff that she would’ve brought to the table for Phaedra and Apollo, they just decided to do without. All Phaedra does is dance around — literally — and I frankly didn’t even see any exercised that specifically targeted the glutes. Although that didn’t stop her or Kenya from taking potshots at each others’ butts in their individual interviews. Bottom line (ha!), Phaedra doesn’t respect Kenya’s ass because she says she bought it at Home Depot, and Kenya doesn’t respect Phaedra at all, because of the following sentence: “Looking at me, you can tell that I’m serious about my workouts. And looking at Phaedra, you can tell she’s serious about her meals.” Boom, roasted.
Meanwhile, in the rest of
Crazytown Atlanta, Porsha Williams-Stewart is making me feel worse and worse for her, as her marriage to Kordell Stewart is starting to sound like just a glorified version of being a single mom. He apparently didn’t understand why it was traumatic for her to have a miscarriage because ‘it wasn’t a baby, yet’. Hoo boy, buddy. Cynthia Bailey braves the mighty wrath of Kenya to tell her to pull it together on the Walter front, and surprisingly gets a positive reaction out of it, Kandi Burruss and Todd talk more about getting married, and NeNe Leakes and Gregg get re-engaged…which we already knew from real life. But he uses the phrase, “If you take me back, I got your back,” which I’m embarrassed to say I loved. All in all, it was a pretty quiet week, but the next episode is the finale, so hold onto your spandex, because things are about to get snatched.