In completely rando celebrity feud news, Aunt Viv from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air decided to verbally attack Wendy Williams via grammatically weak yet fabulously insulting letter. Why, you ask? Well I say, why not?? Long ago and far away star Tatiana Ali (better known as Ashley Banks, obviously) was a guest on the Wendy Williams show, and was asked about the “abrupt departure” of Janet Hubert (better known as the original Aunt Viv and author of bitch-tastic rants).
Apparently the reason she was cut from the show had to do with tension between her and Will Smith. Obviously they’re not going to replace the star and namesake of the show, so producers said “peace out, Janet” and re-casted her role on the show. And since Tatiana Ali hasn’t been famous since Fresh Prince, I’m assuming Wendy Williams had nothing else to ask her about. Either way, the letter is a must-read. You can find it in full here. But here are some of my favorite lines, because you’re probably not going to want to waste any more time than you have to reading a crazy-pants letter written by Original Aunt Viv like I did.
Dear Wiggy, I mean Wendy (Yeah she went there right away, no wasting time here),
Recently, you found the need to put an end to the mystery surrounding my departure from a show that I did so damn long ago that I don’t even remember why I departed.
You are such a demon Wendy. You are wicked, awful, conniving, sinister, spiteful, jealous of every other woman. Simply put, Wendy you are a virus. You are not nor have you ever been a true woman. It seems as though your audience thirsts for the blood of others, as they are prompted to clap and hoop and holler at your shows and wigs and clothes.
I just would like to know who died and told you that you were reborn as Oprah. You want to be Oprah so bad that you would kill for it and you will kill anyone to achieve success. Sister, you will never be another Oprah. Oprah lifted her audience up and exuded an air of class.
So, here is my advice to you Wendy. I want to help you. Learn to sit in a chair and stop fidgeting with yourself on camera. Wipe your giant teeth off camera, and don’t smear the spit on the chair. Please put some sweat pits under your arms, and darling if your sweater is pulling until there are lines across your chest, its too tight. You might want to deflate those tremendous breast. Take off the fake blonde hair. You have to stop playing the race card because you are coming off like a want to be white girl who will never be white.
At least she doesn’t sound bitter or resentful 20 years later… it sounds like this really came from an honest, soulful place. No word yet from Wiggy–er, Wendy–and what she thinks of this, but I imagine her saying something along the lines of “This shit is 50 shades of CRAY CRAY!”
I dare anyone to come up with a better random “celebrity” feud than that today. I. Dare. You.