I heard a very scary story this morning. There wasn’t a campfire and a flashlight and a creepy forest to go along with it, but there might as well have been, because it succeeded in terrifying me. It involves One Direction fans, a radio contest, and Liam Payne’s family garden. I need to go curl up under the covers to recover.
Let me break it down for you. A radio competition challenged One Direction fans to find hidden concert tickets according to a series of mysterious clues. These clues included “they are close to somewhere beautiful” and “could have been an ancient burial site.” Around 100 fans heard those clues and took them to mean the radio show was telling them to flock to Liam Payne’s parents’ house and dig through their plants. Because what other option could there be?
At this point I’m picturing Liam’s parents sitting in their parlor enjoying a pleasant cup of tea and politely discussing what William and Kate will name their baby while an episode of Downton Abbey plays on the television in the background. And then out of nowhere 100 teenage girls rush onto their lawn like the speed-running zombies in 28 Days Later and start growling and clawing at each other as they rifle through the rose bushes.
According to The Sun, it turns out that two tickets “were later found taped to the back of a nearby road sign in Wolverhampton.” So the fans were on the right track?! In my head, I can see the tickets as if they’re being filmed through a reality show camera. The tickets sit abandoned on a stop sign while in the background girls are pulling each other’s hair out in the Payne garden.
What scares me most about this story is that all these fans knew where Liam’s family home was. And it wasn’t just one obsessed girl who spent days staring at Google Maps. It was 100 fans. And they didn’t all leave right away. Liam’s father said:
“I’ve had people loitering around the house for days on end now. I’m glad someone won it. There have been people hiding round corners looking for them.”
Only an Englishman could be so polite about this issue.
When did fans become so intense? What happened to just screaming your voice hoarse and throwing your panties onstage? Now they’re throwing shoes, swarming family homes and threatening puppies. Oh yeah, not only did Liam have to deal with a teeny-bopper stampede, but he also had to face death threats against the adorable puppy he got with his girlfriend. Now these girls are threatening to kill puppies? Am I the only one who thinks the horror movie Attack of the Directioners is long overdue?