Everyone turn on your radios and get out your Miley Cyrus decoder rings, because there’s a new message coming through on the airwaves! Even though she claimed to be taking a break from Twitter, that pledge has apparently fallen by the wayside, as Miley uploaded this two minute video of herself twerking in a onesie. You know, as you do when you’re trying to win back a fiancee like Liam Hemsworth.
- She’s wearing a onesie. She’s telling Liam that she’s still committed to their life together and willing to ignore the rumors of his infidelities with January Jones. The metaphor here is about marriage — ‘two become onesie’. Couldn’t be more obvious.
- She’s twerking. This is Miley showing Liam that she’s mature enough to ‘twerk on’ their relationship. Every true union requires twerk, as we learned from Ben Affleck at the Oscars, and she’s willing to put that twerk in to building their life together.
- It’s on old-timey film. This is Miley making it clear that she wants to go back to the way things used to be, in the olden times of their relationship.
- The onesie is unicorn-themed. Still driving home that point of one, of union. She didn’t choose a pajama theme animal with two horns, she chose a unicorn. That’s two metaphors of them joining their two lives into one, just so he knows she’s serious.
There now, don’t you feel better now that you’ve decoded that encrypted message that Miley’s sending to Liam? Don’t you feel silly for thinking it was just an indicator of her losing her mind in front of all her Twitter followers? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Don’t be so silly the next time, and remember to drink your Ovaltine.