I Don’t Feel Sorry For You: Selena Gomez That James Franco Scared You in Spring Breakers

James Franco Scaring Selena Gomez in Spring Breakers

Word on the street, via her own mouth, is that Selena Gomez was afraid of James Franco, and it wasn’t because of his Oscar hosting performance. (Zing!) Apparently the chameleon that is James was so method during his filming of Spring Breakers that he stayed in character the whole time, which freaked Selena out. But also allowed her to be method because her character was supposed to be freaked out. And what resulted was just a whole mess of method acting in bikinis and gold grills.

Here’s what Selena said (imagine her shivering in a bikini when she says this):

“He stayed in character the whole time and luckily for me, my character was creeped out by him, because I genuinely was at first. We shot the movie for four weeks, then he came in and walked on set as his character and freaked me out. That’s who I knew, until we started doing press and I realized he’s one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. He’s really nice, I promise. He’s great.”

I haven’t seen Spring Breakers. But I’ve seen the trailer, and I know the movie is about wearing bikinis in unlikely scenarios, gun control and saying, “Spring Break, bitches!” as much as possible. I’ve seen James’s character kissing with a lot of tongue and pronouncing “suspicious” like “spicious” which isn’t a word. So I get why meeting this dude in real life would be a little scary.

But Selena, honey? It’s a movie. They don’t hire people to play these parts who actually are these parts. People don’t play themselves.

Unless you’re Meryl Streep or Diane Keaton and all you want in your movie is the essence of Meryl or Diane. But that’s different. And I guess you could argue that people like Jennifer Aniston and Michael Cera always play themselves to a degree. Or like how Zooey Deschanel is always her quirky self and Mark Wahlberg can’t not play a dude from Boston.

Okay. So James Franco and Daniel Day Lewis might be the only two actors in history to be able to fully transform themselves into something new. And the only experience you have with that is on the Disney Channel when people would quite literally be transformed into something else. Like Mickey Mouse. (Is Mickey Mouse on the Disney Channel? He has to be, right?)

So maybe I get a little bit why this would be scary. But I’ll tell you what I think is scary. How terribly your movie represents REAL spring breakers. That’s the scary thing for me.

I mean, where are all the late-night pizzas? Where are the girls trudging home carrying their shoes complaining about how Lindsey got all the attention that night? Where are the sunburns on pale skin? Where are the dance floor scenes when guys approach girls and the girls are all, “I’m sorry, but I just want to have fun with my friends?” Where are the responsible kids studying on the beach because they aren’t going to let a week off school cloud the fact that finals aren’t actually that far away when you think about it?

That’s what scary to me, Serena. The fact that we’ve misrepresented Spring Break for millions of impressionable young ones. Life isn’t a bunch of cute pink ski-masks people! It’s hard and it’s real and there ARE muffin tops in the real world and not everyone gets to dance at the center of the MTV Spring Break pool. So strap on your seatbelt and take a ride in the Reality Seville. It’s a bumpy one.

Here’s the trailer. Don’t get too scared.

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