After weeks of speculation that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have broken up because Miley’s been stepping out sans engagement ring and avec a bravery bikini, Miley is battling the rumors by…putting the ring back on. What an act of solidarity! Way to destroy the rumors! It just weirdly brings this phrase to mind that I heard one time, long ago. I can’t remember what it was, but it was something along the lines of ‘too little too late’. I think JoJo might’ve sung it in my ear once or twice in middle school.
Anyway, Miley chose to show the world her newly re-be-ringed hand in a couple…very odd photos that she tweeted of herself, sporting a hooded gray and pink horse-themed onesie. Tufty green mane and all. You know, as you do. The caption for the photo is “It’s a onezie PARTY (of one)”, and the caption that my brain is assigning to this whole situation is, “OMGMILEY pull it together.” She’s in heavy downward spiral territory, and it only gets worse from here, because she’s apparently putting her Liam-thoughts to song. As an ‘insider’ tells Life & Style:
“She’s been busy in the studio every day [since Liam flew to Australia to visit his family on March 2]. Of course she wrote a song about her relationship. What artist hasn’t?”
Well, I can think of a lot who haven’t, and one big name who has: Taylor Swift. Another lady who’s not been having the best year, so maybe we don’t need to take any pages out of that strawberry-scented yearbook? But Miley seems pretty determined, tweeting on March 6th, “My new music is gonna shut everyone up.” Ooooh boyo, this is about to get really interesting. It was one thing when it felt like the breakup was mutual, because Liam was rumored to have hooked up with January Jones, and Miley wasn’t wearing her ring, but now she’s got it on again, so I don’t know what to think.
All I know is that the next time someone cheats on me, the failsafe way to get back at them is to write a song about him while wearing an animal-themed onesie and claiming that my engagement ring is at the cleaners. THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE TAUGHT ME, POP CULTURE!