Kim Kardashian has been pregnant for five months now with a wee Kanye West dinner roll, but I’m still not sure she knows exactly what’s going on. Like most future mothers trying to insulate a tiny fetus in their bellies, she has put on a substantial amount of weight, and this is apparently not only unexpected, but inherently terrifying, and we must put a stop to it. Kim has kind of refused to change anything about her habits before the pregnancy, which means she’s been flitting around the world, exercising seven days a week, and working twelve hour days. All of which you’re definitely not supposed to do if a baby human is lurking in your belly, a fact that Kim learned a couple weeks ago when she was rushed to the hospital with a miscarriage scare. Understandably, her doctors encouraged her to cut down to three days of moderate exercise a week, so now Kim is stressing all the more. Luckily, her aunt Joan Kardashian is on the case to remind her of the important things in life, telling Now Magazine:
“She can have a tummy tuck which will take care of most of her weight fears. The family’s trying to convince Kim to relax and worry about losing the weight months from now. Other than her belly which is still rather flat, every other part of her body has ballooned. And this is with Kim holding to a strict diet. Imagine if she let herself go?”
…cool, thanks Aunt Joan. I really appreciate you being here for me at this important time when I’m using my body to nourish another body. Please continue to look out for me by telling the press how my weight is ballooning and how unimaginably terrible it would be if I let myself go. Let’s talk more tomorrow.
(Image: Michael Wright / WENN.com)