Bradley Cooper’s New Girlfriend Suki Waterhouse Is Not A Fictional Character, Also Not His Age

Bradley Cooper Suki Waterhouse Elle Style Awards London 11 Feb 2013

Those of you who were hoping for a Bradley Cooper-Jennifer Lawrence romance are about to be disappointed. It’s rumored that Bradley has a new girlfriend, and her name isn’t J.Law. Bradley, who is 38, has already said he wouldn’t date 22-year-old Jennifer, because, as he says, he “could literally be her father.” So it makes total sense that he would now be dating model Suki Waterhouse, who is a mature and age-appropriate 20 years old. Wait… what?!

Apparently Bradley flew Suki out to his film set in Massachusetts. So it looks like this is actually happening, people. Unless he just promised her dad that he would take her on a college tour of Harvard or something, which is possible because she’s, you know, college age.

Let’s work through this news, okey dokey? First of all, what?! Second of all, is this Suki Waterhouse Benjamin Buttoning herself and is actually 60 but looks 20 and is really a cougar and therefore could not be Bradley’s daughter? Third of all, why must she have a name that makes me think of True Blood, a television show I don’t even watch? It is taking every ounce of focus I have to stop myself from typing Sookie Stackhouse. In fact I’ve already typed it a couple of times and backtracked. Are Suki and Joe Jonas’ girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler employed by some company that rents girlfriends with bewildering names out to male celebrities who want to prank celebrity bloggers? Is this an early April Fool’s Day joke? You got me, Ashton Kutcher! You can come out now.

Suki recently broke up with her boyfriend Miles Kane of Last Shadow Puppets. Oh, so her ex-boyfriend plays with shadow puppets? How old is he?

Bradley and Suki were spotted together last month at the Elle Style Awards in London. As evidenced by the photo above, Suki had to sit in the back seat. It looks like they misplaced her car seat, but at least she’s safe back there. Don’t sulk, Suki, it’s for your own protection.

(Photo: PacificCoastNews.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • jenley2013

      Wow, I didn’t know it was possible for me to laugh from this shitty, shitty news.
      Ugh, Bradley. No one in the history of the world has EVER earned and lost that much respect in a span of 4 months.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        I’ve still got my fingers crossed that the Harvard tour theory is true.

      • jenley2013

        Sorry to burst that bubble, Suki dropped out of school when she was 16.
        Seriously Bradley, wtf.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      He should stop pretending and just get her a carseat. He’s not fooling anyone.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Dakotamystic Theresa Aberle

      Either she is bearding for him or an on demand booty call. IMO, I don’t have issues with a 38 yr. old dating a woman in her mid to late 20′s but there is something creepy about a 38 yr old man dating a girl barely out of her teens.

    • Vadym

      her name is very beautiful, which translated from Russian – Bitches (суки)

      • Liam

        sounds korean to me- and not at all beautiful

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FZ7RWBEMWA3QGFIMJSWSDU5AGA Sonna

      Personally,
      I think there is something off about a 38 year old dating a 20 year old. There
      is no doubt in my mind that he was hitting on Jennifer Lawrence..Bradley Cooper with New girlfriend Suki Waterhouse Dating MORE Photos http://su.pr/1futbx

    • Marta

      Has anyone ever considered how hypocrite is it from us to judge on these people life choices when we think it’s actually totally fine to have, say, a 14 yo being a professional model? Don’t you think that the desire to date younger women is only a natural consequence of the way society pushes for women not only to be constrantly beautiful (without trying obv) but to achieve that in perpetuating and eternal (therefore impossible) juvenile look? Would you rather date a 40 yo woman dressing up/acting/speaking like a 20s one, or date a 20s one who dresses up like a 20 yo would do?
      That said about society being fucked up and Hollywood beig the beauty parade it is, I think when it comes down to this kinda things you have to consider each case on its own. For the little I know about Cooper, he doesn’t look like the most mature guy ever (with all the due respect). So, it’s kinda makes sense he’d date someoe in their 20s, they probably have more in common than he would have with a woman his own age. Just saying.

    • Petranella

      fine, hope they are happy. But Cooper did say he and JLaw were not an item because she is “way too young” for him.

    • Liam

      sounds like a fake name to me (suki stackhouse from true blood) as for B-coops…kinda gross dude..find someone at least old enough to drink legally

    • Evelyn

      Looks like he just isn’t interested in J L and used age as an excuse to not offend her publicy if I was her I wouldn’t be losing any sleep over it!

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    • Q

      ask him her full name. I doubt he knows it.

    • anne

      Well, he doesn’t look like he is 38, but she is however too young for him.

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    • Timothy Sanford New

      wow!! 38 male and 22 female. 7 years so male was 31 and female 14 and now they’re married wow. so the man never went to jail for anything because the girl was truly i n love with man so thats amazing, so love IS in all ages!! so if this man isnt arrested others wont either.

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    • brtn

      good thing we’re avoiding all that slut shaming stuff. HOW DARE HE/SHE DO SOMETHING WE FIND INAPPROPRIATE! Why so many words for so little info? Is you sads?