Last night was the premiere of Wicked Single, VH1′s new reality show about a group of single friends living in Boston. Yesterday was also St. Patrick’s Day, so they either chose this date because of the whole Boston Irish thing or because they were hoping people would be drunk enough to actually tune in.
The show is like Jersey Shore meets Friends. No, it’s like The Hills meets that Boston teens SNL sketch. Really, it’s like it’s own SNL sketch, but one that goes on for an hour instead of five minutes. These people are caricatures of themselves while also being caricatures of reality stars past. One girl, Nikki, walks into a club and goes “Pahty’s here!!” which, if you’ve ever seen a single clip of Snooki, it’s the one where she walks into the shore house and says exactly that as her very first line.
The show follows six wickedly single friends, two guys and four girls. During the premiere we hear the most about Chubs (real name, James) and Rachel. Chubs is 29, “in sales,” and lives with a roommate, Joe. Chubs likes to pre-game at his house, which is referred to as Club Med (because it’s “like a club and they live in Medford.” Oh no.), then go out to bars with friends and continue to get super wasted. If you’ve ever been out dancing then you know that there’s always one super sweaty dude making the rounds, tryna make-out with girls, that you try to avoid like the plague because if one drop of that sweat gets on you, you’re gonna freak out. Well, Chubs is that guy. Even watching him on the show is a visceral experience. I can feel myself itching to get away from that hair product filled and overly cologned sweat. Chubs also likes to take girls back to his room, but usually isn’t successful at getting with them, so instead he tries to catch an episode of Bill O’Reilly while they lay there asleep. What?
Rachel, 28, is super ditzy and also in sales. She likes to “crush RBVs” (Red Bull and Vodkas), go out to clubs with best friend Nikki, and start drama with ex-friends. In this episode, Rachel and Nikki go out to the Water Club and get wayyyyy too drunk. Rachel picks a fight with an ex-roommate that she runs into while Nikki breaks her wrist. Of course, Nikki doesn’t realize she’s broken her wrist until the next day even though it looks wicked bent out of shape and swollen. Rachel, even though she was much drunker than the ex-roommate and was the one that started the fight, talks the next day about how this kind of drama is “so high school” and how at 28-years-old she doesn’t want this bullshit in her life. I feel like when you’re college aged, like how the girls on The Hills were, for example, saying things are “so high school” makes sense, but when you’re ten years removed from high school, if you’re still saying that then you’re probably the problem. All these reality shows were/are some level of staged, I haven’t forgotten that, I’m just saying as far as plot realistic-ness goes and pathetic-ness goes, fake or not fake, Wicked Single isn’t doing well.
The preview for the rest of the season looks like more of what we got here. They all keep partying and getting in fights with each other. Even Chelsi, who is only 24 and seemed the most normal, ends up hitting Rachel in the face. Granted, she probably deserved it. I think the problem this show is gonna have– well, one of the problems– is giving us someone to root for. No one really seemed endearing at all. The Jersey Shore cast was obnoxious, sure, but something about (some of) them was likable. Also, these people all sound like they hate their jobs and find them boring. Maybe someone could get a new job? One that actually interests them, like owning a bar, but it doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen either. The preview didn’t even make it look like any characters end up Wicked In A Relationship.
I think this is just another failed attempt (Washington Heights was also one) at recreating the unlikely power that was Jersey Shore, but even after one episode, it clearly isn’t working and no amount of crazy accents or broken bones is gonna save it.