When I say ‘Dan Stevens’, you say ‘who?’ Dan Stevens! Who? Dan Stevens! Who? Oh, I’m so glad you shout-asked me who Dan Stevens was! Dan Stevens is the real life human who plays my fake life husband on Downton Abbey. You can see a normal picture of him above, the way that he should always appear: decked out in his 1900s finery with a slightly bemused expression on his face. But even though that’s the way myself and countless other females doubtlessly imagine him in our heads, sometimes he did insist on dressing up in regular person clothes and strolling around award ceremonies.
As a result, sometimes he would look like this, with silly product in his hair even though it doesn’t exist yet in the the era of my daydreams. But at least he’s still wearing a tuxedo and looking marginally like a gentleman. All is still right in the world.
But now, now Dan Stevens dares to show his face in the world looking completely different from the Matthew Crawley of my heart. It wasn’t enough just to leave the show and destroy my favorite plotline and my belief in love and marriage in one fell swoop, you also had to go back to your natural hair color, get a haircut, lose weight, and let some vague whiskers grow in. That’s a lot, Dan Stevens. That’s a lot for my Downton-addled brain to take in, and frankly it’s pretty presumptuous. Don’t you know that once you become a beloved character, you’ve essentially promised to remain the same forever and a day? It’s like living in a snow globe except less fun but YOU PROMISED US.
Dan apparently looks like this for a new role as a heroin trafficker in A Walk Among The Tombstones in case you still care about him after such an epic betrayal.
(Images: Lia Toby / Alberto Reyes / WENN.com)