Last night’s episode of The Vampire Diaries is a proper introduction to me for spring break. It is on another level of CRAZY, particularly when it comes to Elena Gilbert losing her humanity. There are girls dancing on bars, shameless hookups and other bad decisions all around. Nothing about tonight makes sense if you’ve been a loyal TVD follower from the beginning. Or for some of you with less popular or obscure opinions, maybe it does. And it’s especially a major jump from when Jeremy actually dies.
Most important lesson learned: humanity-free Elena gives no fucks. In spring break analogies, she’s the girl you want to be on spring break. She’s dancing on the bar, biting bitches’ necks and walking around naked in front of attractive men. You want to hate her because she’s doing all the stuff you wish you had the balls to do, but obviously to a supernatural degree. Elena feeds several times throughout the episode, tricks everyone into thinking she’s still sired to Damon, and then even when she gets caught, she continues doing what she wants. If Elena has to be a cheerleader, she feeds on competition. When’s she grounded, she has everyone party at her place. For those of you consistent readers, you know I usually hate on Elena. But tonight I want to be her. You know what a major statement is that I could admit that to the public.
Caroline is that girl most of us are on spring break: we want to keep the peace, have a good time, talk to a cute guy, and watch out for our ratchet friends (cough Elena). Unfortunately, Caroline has to suffer a bit tonight. Her mainstay cute boy Tyler is MIA, since Klaus’ ass is after him, thought Stefan is a good replacement at the party for all you Steroline shippers. Also, she gets burned watching out for Elena, when the latter hurts Caroline’s mom and then tries to hurt Caroline herself. Bitch.
Finally, on the spring break bucket list: screw someone who didn’t seem relevant to your life in a thousand years, pun intended. Suddenly, this story between Hayley the betraying werewolf and Klaus is occurring (mostly because of the backdoor pilot for The Originals coming in a month) where they’re both looking for Katherine…and then they do each other. Basically, he’s “trying to get information from her” but all I saw was the two of them shit-talking each other, which we all know builds excellent sexual tension. Then of course, as random spring breakers have an affinity for, they do each other without a care in the world!
Issues I have today (since I have some every week): First, Jeremy’s death was barely recognized beyond Elena seeing a flyer at school and Sheriff Forbes’ brief mention. They could have at least had a funeral where Elena didn’t give a fuck. Silas is still relevant? God, I thought we escaped him.
Things I was more than okay with: Bonnie and her dad’s absences. Bye Bennetts.
Under things I want, Tyler back, but not before Klaus and Caroline devour each other. I can’t wait to see why the hell the creators of this show think Hayley makes sense in the Originals pilot, and why Damon knew some random vampire and then killed him. Here’s to hoping for naughty Delena behavior. We all know it’s better when the costars date in real life.