Lindsay Lohan In The Scary Movie 5 Trailer Is Appropriately Terrifying

Did you guys know they’re still making those parodies of scary movies they were making when we were in high school? They’re up to Scary Movie 5 now, and scraping the bottom of the celebrity bowl (endless salad and breadsticks!) with cameos by celebrities like Charlie Sheen, Ashley Tisdale, and Lindsay Lohan. Whoop, that wasn’t even correct, sorry! Ashley Tisdale is the star of this little venture. It’s a dark time, even for a spoof. Don’t believe me? Here’s the trailer:

The main movies they seem to be making fun of are Mama and Paranormal Activity, mostly parodying the same fact that struck us here at Crushable, which is — why the hell would anyone choose to adopt those feral girlchildren who lived in the woods for their whole lives? I’m all for adoption, but typically of children and not demons. Maybe a bath and an attitude change first, no?

But the funniest and scariest part of this whole trailer has to be Lindsay Lohan in bed with Charlie Sheen. For some reason, based on the insane amount of news that was flooding the interwebs about their conflicts on-set over her refusal to kiss him, and his subsequent gift to her of half a million dollars, I was assuming that they were in this movie a whole bunch, but turns out they’re not! Based on the trailer, they mostly just hear something strange while in bed together and then Charlie gets his nuts crushed by a ghost while Lindsay practices her acting face. It’s…kind of anticlimactic. Mostly it just makes me miss the good old days when these movies were still better than the films they were parodying and not just terrifyingly bad in their own right. Sigh.