Isn’t it amazing how celebrities always manage to lose weight by having fun? Whereas us normals have to go to the gym and sweat in public and pay absurd amounts of money for juice cleanses, they can just go about their days and shed pounds. Take Beyonce Knowles for example. Do you know her? She’s not Michelle Williams and she’s not Kelly Rowland. Yep, she’s that third one who faded into away into obscurity. Why, you’d probably pass her on the street and not even recognize her.
She apparently lost 57 pounds of her Blue Ivy baby weight by dancing. Or so she tells Shape for the April issue, which came to us via The Sun. Ugh The Sun I know. They’re like the Facebook friend you just can’t defriend because every 100 statuses, she says something entertaining.
She revealed: “I gained 57 pounds when I was pregnant. I didn’t have a lot of time to lose the weight, because I scheduled a show three months after I gave birth, which I would never do again. ”I’m not a person that is naturally very thin. I am a person that has to work at keeping my body in shape.” Beyonce also admitted that the secret to her incredible body and shedding the excess weight quickly was dancing.
My only question is how much of that baby weight got danced off, and how much just got taken off by unvelcroing the fake pregnancy belly she wore. ZING.
I know, I know, we thought we put these surrogacy allegations to rest a few months ago. But then we saw her documentary and completely changed our minds. For a woman who recorded every moment of her life, it’s pretty suspicious that there’s no clear footage of her walking around pregnant. Pretty, pretty suspicious indeed. I didn’t spend multiple weekends watching Law & Order: SVU marathons to not be able to spot an (alleged) lie when it’s staring me in the face.
Sure, sure, sure, maybe she really did give birth to Blue Ivy and maybe she really did lose all that weight from dancing. But that’s just not fair to the rest of us. You know, the people who can’t lose weight by dancing or bungee jumping or watching sports on TV or the 10,000 other insane ways celebrities claim to lose weight.