• Thu, Mar 14 2013

Anna Kendrick Is Single Now, In Case Anybody Knew She Wasn’t Before

Anna Kendrick at The Trevor Project December 2012

Well Anna Kendrick has broken up with her boyfriend, which for me begs the question…am I the only person who didn’t know Anna was even dating anyone? I feel kinda dumb, because apparently she and this guy were together for four years, since 2009, and I had no idea. Oh I guess I should explain who the guy was, in case you’re all as ignorant and ill-informed as I am was. (That’s all over now! Going forward, there won’t be a single thing in the world that I don’t know about! I pledge it on my honor as a blogger!) His name was — or is, I guess, because he’s still alive — Edgar Wright, and he directed the Shaun Of The Dead movies. He’s currently thirty-eight to Anna’s twenty-seven and the two met on the set of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World in 2009 and have dated ever since. But now it’s over, so we turn to this incredibly informative quip from a purported insider for help grappling with this devastating breakup:

“She’s single. It was done a little while ago.”

 

Oh MAN. Is it just me, or do those two sentences speak a thousand words? Hidden in those nine words are the poems of the ages, speaking of hearts broken, tears glistening, and backs stabbed. Okay maybe not. Maybe it’s just a perfunctory statement announcing the end of something we didn’t even know was taking place. But I’m so fed up with everyone being so mature about their breakups lately that I’m really jonesing for some drama! The only thing even potentially in sight is this Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift collaboration that’s rumored to slam Justin Bieber, but I can’t wait forever! Edgar and Anna — can’t one of you guys get a Twitter and put the other one on blast or something? Or maybe wear a t-shirt with some passive aggressive slogan on it for me to puzzle out? Something themed like ‘Pitch (Im)Perfect’ or ‘Up In The Air? More Like Get Outta My Hair!’? Is that so much to ask? Also I’m ready for my career in t-shirt designing now. You can just start sending me checks.

(Image: Brian To / WENN.com)

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