It finally happened on The Face this week. Sandra Woodley got too big for her breeches and Ms. Naomi Campbell had to knock her down a few pegs. All the way down and back to South Philly. Ouch. But let’s not lament for poor Sandra Dee just yet. I mean, girlfriend did toe the line with Naomi and no one…child, no one gets away with that. We saw what happened when Karolina Korkova dared to disobey Naomi…and Coco Rocha hasn’t even tried, yet. I look forward to that day. Yah, there aren’t many people on The Face or in this world that haven’t pissed Naomi Campbell off. With the Sandra send-off and some fireworks at the end of the show (read Naomi tantrum), this week’s episode of The Face was pretty great.
The Test Shoot this week involved a pair of shoes. Not just any pair of shoes. CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN shoes. Be still my heart. Give me a minute…just hold on a second while I lose my mind…ok, I’m back. Seriously though, it was freak out time there for a hot minute. Yah yah, I know, I’m like every other girl in this world and I really really love shoes blah blah blah. WRONG. So wrong. I would cut a bitch for Louboutins. In fact, I think the producers should have a screening question during casting – “what would you do for Christian Louboutin shoes.” That way, when I said my honest answer, they could then prevent me from being on the show, cause I would definitely be a hazard to the rest of humanity.
Right, so the Test Shoot. Wearing some fabulous Louboutins, the models are to interact with a male model and be all sexy and have chemistry that the camera picks up on while filming a commercial-type thing. So, what you’re telling me is that you get to wear Christian Louboutin shoes and practically fake hump a male model?! So, this is probably the best thing ever. Let’s just call it right now. Also, the winner gets to keep the shoes. And that’s why I wouldn’t be allowed to be on this show. I don’t know how to act right in the presence of designer shoes. After Judge Naomi goes first and shows them how it’s done (with Amar’e Stoudemire, no less), the model hopefuls take their shot at emulating the great Ms. Naomi. Everyone is pretty confident that Jocelyn Chew is gonna nail this cause “she’s the sexy one” (got that Love Actually reference?). But hmmm not so much. Not so much at all. I mean, she’s alright but so are most of the other girls. Zi Lin Luo and Devyn are top contenders. My girl Devyn is always at the top but can never cash in. Grrrr.
More importantly, Sandra Woodley loses her mind…again. First, she does this weird neck kiss thing that is all too appropriate if you gave me one minute behind closed doors with the male model, but maybe not so much for a classy shoot. Second, Naomi Campbell busts out laughing and generally just goes over the top in the dramatics department. Cause, it was funny and weird, but it wasn’t that funny. It was to Naomi, though, and the second time Sandra loses her mind is when she gets buck with Naomi and her laughing at Sandra’s whatever that was. Oh no you didn’t even. The showdown doesn’t even last that long cause, come on, and also Naomi just speaks truth when she tells Sandra to get some thicker skin. Stephanie Lalanne is declared winner, oh hey Nigel Barker, of this Test Shoot and also the sweet pair of shoes. If there were ever a time for Stephanie to show up and prove that she should still be here, it was then. I mean, we’re talking about Louboutins. That would motivate anyone.
The Campaign involves the models working together, as a team, cohesively…which means there’s probably gonna be bickering between Sandra and Jocelyn. They have to come up with an idea to sell OpenSky.com, in a commercial. Everyone is a little nervous because acting is a little harder than modeling. Just a bit. After Sandra grovels at Naomi’s feet and then Naomi disses her, they carry on with their commercial shoots. Everyone sucks the first time around, but they do some shooting and editing and it turns out aight in the end. Team Karolina takes the win.
Elimination Round next and Naomi chooses Sandra (oooh scorned) and Coco chooses Margaux cause Stephanie earned a break from going to elimination 4 times in a row. Judge Karolina is deciding their fates. After the usual brief “why should you be heres”, Karolina decides Sandra is too unprofessional to be a spokesperson/model after Margaux puts up a convincing argument to save her own ass. Thus, the lesson we can take away from this is…chill. Anger management or Xanax. Either will probably help yah out when you become a raving lunatic who thinks it’s a great idea to act a fool. Also, Karolina thinks with her heart and not her strategy, like Naomi. Therefore, when Sandra doesn’t come back as Naomi thinks she should, she freaks out and calls Karolina an idiot and sends her girls to their rooms to devise a plan to not lose next time. Or at least throw a bigger tantrum. Now the playing field is even. 2 on 2 on 2.