Gwyneth Paltrow Thrilled That Her Kids Are Starving, Means She’s Doing Something Right

It's All Good Gwyneth Paltrow CookbookSelf-appointed food expert of the century Gwyneth Paltrow took a quick break from gaining charisma points by talking to herself in a mirror to write a cookbook titled, Oh Please, Do Go Ahead and Feed Your Children, But Don’t Come Running to me When They’re Little Tubs of Lard. P.S You Disgust Me!” Lolsies, it’s actually called It’s All Good and it’s filled with gems of wisdom on how to best make sure your children grow up to write a tell-all book about you.

Step one: name them all Apple. Step two: give them a lifelong complex about hunger, food and what to eat.

Our favorite frenemies at Radar Online have a few quality excerpts from the book. And by quality, I mean really, an editor looked over this and okay-ed it?

Take this line for example about how she cut carbs out of their family’s diet.

“Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs.”

Um, I’m (surprisingly) no nutritionist, but I’m pretty sure that you can avoid carbs and still find filling food for your family to eat. Actually I’ll take that a step further and say that you should go out of your way to find filling foods for your growing children. There’s no reason that the children of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin should be suffering from hunger pains. I’m pretty sure they can afford to feed their kids three well-balanced meals every single day. Include federal holidays.

But what do I know? I’m just a gross ‘n dirty carb eater.

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    • Lia Beck

      Sometimes (and I really mean SOMETIMES) I feel like I get what she’s trying to say, but even in those rare times she says it with the worst possible phrasing. Saying “hunger” when talking about the foods you choose to have your kids avoid, is probably not the best way to go about it.

    • AS

      I get exactly what she means by “that specific hunger” although it is probably better characterized as “not feeling satisfied”. I tend to still have a little itch for something regardless of what I ate if a carb is not involved in a meal and that is a testament to the addictive power of carbs. However, it is really odd to state it as she did and lead it to liking it that her children are left with that feeling. She has always gotten on my nerves.

      • Jenni

        I doubt her children are actually starving, but there are so many better ways to phrase what she’s trying to say. Especially when it’s in a book and not in an in-the-moment interview.

      • abbeysbooks

        There’s an old proverb like comment that you should leave the table feeling a little less than full. In other words, not stuffed and completely satisfied. I’m OK with that.

    • CW

      As a mom to a kid with multiple food intolerances, I am actually excited for this new cookbook. It is hard to know what to cook when so many common ingredients are off the table.

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    • Natalie

      It annoys me to no end when people say ‘carbs’ when they really mean ‘bread and wheat-based products’. Fruits and vegetables are carbs. Also, carbohydrates give growing children energy. And life. Poor Apple.

      • abbeysbooks

        Me too. Gluten. I am with you on this. I also think that Monsanto oats are different from say Irish oats grown with non Monsanto seed.

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    • Mike Ganino

      You left out the rest of the section–conveniently. Shortly after writing the above quote–Gwyneth goes on to say something to the effect of “so I whipped up some delicoius grain treats for my family” Just wanted to get all the facts there for ya

      • Jenni

        Pray tell, where in the article referenced above does it say that?

      • hi.

        Mike is referencing the book from which the original quote was taken.

      • hi.

        Deleting comments when you’re made to look a fool? That’s cute.

      • Jenni

        Pray tell, what is this comment I deleted?

    • abbeysbooks

      Jenni she said “sometimes” when there are no carbs in a meal like pasta, bread, rice etc they feel less than satisfied. SOMETIMES means sometimes. And yes since knowing I am gluten intolerant I still crave pasta and bread. I have even dreamed of eating French bread which I love. I intend to cheat in the future. BTW Starbucks has a great chocolate torte with no flour in it and it is delicious.

      I admit she is very obsessive about all this. If she doesn’t control the kitchen she might get fatter. I like Joli better, don’t you. But Gweneth is a superlative actress.

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