Self-appointed food expert of the century Gwyneth Paltrow took a quick break from gaining charisma points by talking to herself in a mirror to write a cookbook titled, Oh Please, Do Go Ahead and Feed Your Children, But Don’t Come Running to me When They’re Little Tubs of Lard. P.S You Disgust Me!” Lolsies, it’s actually called It’s All GoodÂ and it’s filled with gems of wisdom on how to best make sure your children grow up to write a tell-all book about you.
Step one: name them all Apple. Step two: give them a lifelong complex about hunger, food and what to eat.
Our favorite frenemies at Radar OnlineÂ have a few quality excerpts from the book. And by quality, I mean really, an editor looked over this and okay-ed it?
Take this line for example about how she cut carbs out of their family’s diet.
â€śSometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, weâ€™re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs.â€ť
Um, I’m (surprisingly) noÂ nutritionist,Â but I’m pretty sure that you can avoid carbs and still find filling food for your family to eat. Actually I’ll take that a step further and say that youÂ shouldÂ go out of your way to find filling foods for your growing children. There’s no reason that the children of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin should be suffering from hunger pains. I’m pretty sure they can afford to feed their kids three well-balanced meals every single day. Include federal holidays.
But what do I know? I’m just a gross ‘n dirty carb eater.