Demi Moore reportedly thought that if she’d been able to have a baby with Ashton Kutcher, it would’ve saved their marriage…proving that sometimes it’s important to pat yourself on the back and remind yourself how much smarter you are than celebrities. Even though Demi already had three daughters of her own — Scout, Tallulah, and Rumer, none of whom are even speaking to her anymore — she was apparently really dead-set on coking up another one with her boy king and ruler of the kingdom of Punk’d.
“Demi tried for YEARS to get pregnant with Ashton. She was in her early 40s when they first got together, and she put her body through hell trying to have his baby.”
Ooh yum, putting your body through hell. That’s one of my favorite pastimes, but for me it usually involves eating full pizzas with Ben and Jerry’s chasers, not running myself through in vitro to hold a relationship together.
“Ashton wanted a child from day one, and Demi knew he would make an amazing father after seeing how great he was with her girls. Sadly though, time wasn’t on Demi’s side, and she was never able to fulfill his baby wish.”
We are talking about Ashton Kutcher, right?That floppy haired manboy from the camera commercials and That 70s Show? You wanted him to be a father? Because he got along well with your eighteen year old? Let’s think about the logistics of that for a minute. I’m not saying that a baby wouldn’t be fun, but you do realize you’d be raising two kids, right? The mini Ashton and the big Ashton. Does that really sound like fun to you when you’re almost fifty?
“Demi believes in her heart that if they had had a child together, there wouldn’t be a divorce going on right now. She thinks if there had been a baby at home Ashton wouldn’t have been out partying with friends, and he wouldn’t have had the chance to cheat on her.”
I just…you guys, we all know better than this, right? We know that if a relationship is foundering, you don’t try to have a baby, yes? Have we learned nothing from movies? You ALWAYS turn to robbing a bank first. Always. But if that falls through, definitely have a kid. Just not with Ashton Kutcher or Demi Moore.