Continuing their field trip from last week, The Real Housewives of Atlanta went to Vegas last night. Because you know what they say! What happens in Vegas…gets nationally televised, even if it’s embarrassing! Genius! And the ladies took a party bus to get there, which is also genius, because who wouldn’t love a traffic-filled, eight hour drive with feuding rich ladies? There’s nothing better. Naturally, my girl NeNe Leakes was smart enough not to partake in any of that nonsense; she had to be on-set all day so she took a flight afterward and still beat everyone else there. For once, we’re not here to discuss my love affair with NeNe — although you can read all about it in last week’s recap — because today we’re gonna talk about Porsha Williams-Stewart.
Porsha is a real piece of work. She seems sweet, but she’s not the smartest crayon in the box, okay? Variously during this season she’s been kicked off Cynthia Bailey‘s fashion show committee for not pulling her weight, informed the Housewives that yams give you twins, decided there were 265 days in a year, and, notoriously, called Kenya Moore by the wrong title — Miss America instead of Miss USA. Listen, the girl has a lot on her mind, okay? She stays at home all day and makes herself beautiful for her husband Cordell Stewart so he’ll feel comfortable showering gifts and restrictions on her.
Speaking of restrictions, that’s really what I want to get at in this recap, because it started getting all kinds of weird in last night’s episode. The other women decided they wanted to do a girl’s night at the strip club, just for fun, but Porsha said she couldn’t go because Cordell wouldn’t be comfortable. This is a strip club with female dancers, by the way, not male. She said she was already proud enough of him for letting her come on the girl’s trip. Letting her? Did I hear that right? Sure did! And even when Kenya calls her out on her phrasing, Porsha stands behind it, saying in an interview that she allows him to dictate what she does because she has respect for her husband, and that now she knows why Kenya doesn’t have a husband herself. Oh girl, look at you, throwing shade. It was always obvious that Cordell was a little controlling, but I didn’t realize the full extent until last night, when Porsha started making excuses. I don’t think the other ladies had any idea either, because they were pushing her pretty hard about it, and rightfully so. She acts like she’s lucky that Gregg even lets her out of the house. NeNe in particular was coming from the strongest perspective, because she used to work at a strip club herself, and in fact was still working there when she met her husband, Gregg. She brought him there to see her work and never quit her job until he actually asked her to marry him, at which point she had strippers as bridesmaids. She knew she wanted to be with someone who accepted all of her, and Gregg’s response convinced her that he was that person. In her own words:
“Your marriage is supposed to just compliment and enhance who you are. Like, if you want to jump over the damn moon, your partner should support you jumpin’ over the damn moon. Now, they don’t have to like it, but they just need to stand there and watch your ass jump over the damn moon….never end up living their dream and not your dream.”
I mean, come on. How can you not be obsessed with this woman. She has her shit so incredibly together, I can’t handle it. Oh hey, remember when I said this post wasn’t gonna be about my obsession with NeNe Leakes? Yeah, well I lied. Sorry I’m not sorry.