• Mon, Mar 11 2013

There’s No Way This Harry Styles Tattoo Is Real, Right? RIGHT!?

Harry Styles Butterfly Tattoo

While you’ve kicked off your year making sound and safe and respectable choices, One Direction’s Harry Styles has not. Nope, instead he walked into a tattoo parlor and told the tattooist that he wanted to make a choice he’d regret. Soon. Not in twenty years, not in twenty months, but in twenty minutes. So the tattooist thought long and he thought hard and he thought a giant butterfly tattoo ought to do the trick. And that’s why we’re now  forced to look at topless photos of Harry Styles being attacked by a giant flying metamorphisizing insect for all of eternity. I already felt uncomfortable looking at the not-a-boy-not-yet-a-man half naked before this unfortunate incident, now I just feel downright gross.

What is it with tweenager-looking boys covering themselves in regrettable tattoos before their 20th birthday? Justin Bieber appears to be just as addicted as he is to them and between the two of them, I’d say they’ve made approximately 400 permanent mistakes. I have no issue with people getting tattoos, I just worry when boys get them 30 of them before they’ve experienced 30 things worth getting tattooed on their bodies. Harry Styles is already so out of ideas that he’s getting giant butterflies on his torso. What’s next? An emoticon? Chips and salsa? The number of marriages he’s destroyed by winking in a woman’s direction? I just fear that he’s going to waste all his good body space on stupid ideas. LIKE THIS BUTTERLY!

Also on a slightly unrelated note, why is he so dirty in this photo? He’s literally covered in a fine coating of filth.  It’s as if his body went off-roading this weekend and he hasn’t had the time yet to take it to the car wash. I know he’s a busy guy, but showering should be a priority. At least every few days. Perhaps — and this is a big perhaps — he could alternate getting tattoos with taking showers.

(Photo: Twitter via E!)

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