So apparently Brandi Glanville had sex with Gerard Butler and then told everybody about it? Which I guess shouldn’t surprise me, given that she routinely publicizes her life via The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and her name is synonymous in my brain with ‘Twitter feud’. Gerard apparently didn’t see it coming, though, because he had absolutely no idea who she was. Apparently the two hooked up randomly after meeting at a beach party, and when Gerard asked Brandi what she did, she told him it ‘doesn’t matter’. So they made the sex, like you do with a stranger at a beach party, and they each went on their merry way, never bothering to share last names. And Gerard actually kept his mouth shut about it, most likely because he’s already had sex with approximately 18% of the human female population, and you don’t get to that point by being a blabbermouth, am I right? But Brandi being Brandi, she ran right back to the set of RHOBH and told everyone that she’d slept with him. Cut to Gerard getting accosted on the street by some random guy shouting about…well, I’ll let him tell you himself:
“We hung out, we had a little bit of fun…one day, I’m walking down the street, and this pap runs in my face and says, ‘So Brandi Glanville says you’re great in bed!’ You know what I said? ‘Who’s Brandi Glanville?’ Because one, I didn’t know her last name, and two, I didn’t know she was a celebrity, and I didn’t know she was gonna go fucking tell people about it!”
That’s a rookie mistake on both of you. Gerard, as a womanizing celebrity, I’m surprised you got it in with a girl without at least a cursory background check, and Brandi, with the kind of bone(d) yard that Gerard is working with, let’s not assume your brand-new vagina from ex-husband Eddie Cibrian even registered on his radar.