• Sun, Mar 10 2013

Michelle Obama Will Turn 50 With Adele And Beyonce, Creating One Bad Ass Trifecta

President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama at the Presidential Inaugural Ball

Michelle Obama may not turn 50 until next January, but rumors are already swirling that the First Lady has booked both Adele and Beyonce for the entertainment.  There are so many things that are right about that sentence I don’t know where to begin.

Apparently Adele has even “graciously waived her astronomical fee” in order to perform some ditties for the First Lady.

“America’s first lady will be holding a huge celebrity-packed party for her birthday at the White House next year and, as she adores Adele and Beyonce, she has asked them both to sing,” an unnamed source told The Daily Mail. ”Adele will sing a selection of her most-loved hits for the first lady and her friends.”

So basically what this tells me is that I have approximately 10 months to buddy myself up with someone important enough to garner me with an invite to what could easily be THE shindig of my life.  I’m supposed to be getting married in January, but fuck that.  I would gladly trade in the stress and obnoxiousness of planning a mediocre wedding for a coveted invitation to the First Lady’s birthday party… I mean, who wouldn’t?

I attended my uncle’s 50th birthday party just last night and the most exciting thing to happen there was that all of the alcoholic parents/aunts/uncles/grandmas were able to hold down their booze without barfing and/or insulting anyone to the point of tears.  You say potato, my family says… BEER.

Anyway… if this is indeed the lineup for the First Lady’s half-century birthday extravaganza, my life has been made.

(Photo: WENN)

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