Our good friends over at Us Weekly report that MIley Cyrus went out of her house for the second night in the row without her engagement ring. Which means things are probably over between her and her now ex-fiance Liam Hemsworth. Like really and truly over. As sad as I am to see this beautiful relationship fade away into oblivion, I’m pretty psyched that Liam Hemsworth is single again.
You see, I didn’t fall in love with him until The Hunger Games premiered last spring. And by then we all know it was too late to fall in love with him. He was with Miley for years at that point. Or maybe just one year. I’ll leave it to you kids with Wikipedia access to confirm that fact for me. I can’t look that kinda stuff up on my typewriter.
What I can do though is start to prepare myself for the moment Liam Hemsworth asks me to be his rebound. I know, I know, I shouldn’t need to prepare for this moment. My entire life’s been building up to this moment. The answer is yes, a million times over yes, he had me at rebound and all that jazz.
But let’s hold up for a moment so we can really discuss this. You know, really figure out the pros and cons of dating the second hottest Hemsworth. I want to be ready in case he asks me to be the one — the girl he wants to spend time with until he’s ready for a real relationship again. And honestly, it’s really not that unlikely he’ll ask. I mean he dated Miley Cyrus. Who saw that coming? A blogger wouldn’t be totally out of left field.
So I really need to sit down and think about this.
PRO: Dating him now would give me amazing access to the Catching Fire cast. We’re talking J.Law, we’re talking J.Hutch and we’re talking F-i-n-n-i-c-k. Being his girlfriend would get me major street cred on that set.
CON: He wouldn’t be completely over Miley and I’d probably catch him sitting in the living room at 2 A.M watching the kissing scenes from The Last Song. Awkwaarrrddddd.
PRO: I’d meet Chris Hemsworth. Which means I could “accidentally” graze Chris Hemsworth at a family event.
CON: Everyone will compare me to Miley Cyrus? Am I ready to out-shock the original shocktress? It involves frequent haircuts and even more frequent dog adoptions. I don’t have that much hair to begin with, should I really commit to cutting it all off?
PRO: This could be my only chance. Once he’s done rebounding he’ll probably go back to dating other A-listers.
CON: After he starts dating other A-listers, I’m going to have to witness it. Am I ready to see his hand on the small of her back when they walk down the red carpet? Am I ready to hate her? Because nature dictates that I’m going to have to hate her.
PRO: Dating him would give me the ultimate advantage when people are talking about hooking up with D-list celebrities at brunch one day. I’ll be all like Pauly D puh-lease, I hooked up with a real celebrity. With an Australian accent.