No actress really makes it in Hollywood until she admits that she got bullied in school. It’s a rite of passage among our most beautiful and it was truly only a matter of time before Jennifer Lawrence admitted to joining the coveted club. You know, the club that your parents told you about when you came home crying from school because someone made fun of you.
“One day,” your parents began their tale with so much hope in their voices, “one day, you’ll be rich and famous and successful and beautiful and if you’re not we’ll consult with a plastic surgeon and you’ll be the last one laughing.” And you stop crying for a moment as you envision yourself starting your Oscar acceptance speech with, “suck it haters, I bet you feel bad now for not inviting me to your birthday party in 3rd grade mwhahahahahaa.” Then it would rain Gushers and fruit roll-ups and bubble tape and all the other other sugary foods you weren’t allowed to eat. Finally, as you spun around in a shower of processed foods, your boyfriend (who I did envision being Macaulay Culkin at the time) would carry you off stage.
While I’m still waiting for that magical moment in my life to occur, I can sleep a little easier knowing that Jennifer Lawrence definitely got to experience it this year when she won the the best actress Oscar for her role in Silver Linings Playbook.
“I changed schools a lot when I was in elementary school because some girls were mean. “They were less mean in middle school, because I was doing all right, although this one girl gave me invitations to hand out to her birthday party that I wasn’t invited to. “But that was fine, I just hocked a loogie on them and threw them in the trash can.”
She adds: “Don’t worry about the bitches — that could be a good motto, because you come across people like that throughout your life.”
With the exception of that one girl who’s probably like “ohhhh that’s why no one came to my birthday that year…I feel better now,” all the rest of those mean girls are now rueing the day they didn’t write K.I.T in her yearbook. I can promise you that. If all the bedtime stories my parents told me are true, then they’re sitting at home just wishing they’d been nicer to her during recess.
(Photo: DLM Press, PacificCoastNews.com)