Jessica Simpson accidentally revealed the sex of her baby last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live by eloquently saying that she “never knew a wiener could actually make me nauseous.” Which I’m pretty sure means she’s having a boy. Or a hot dog.
Either one would be cool with me. Although I’d be lying if I didn’t say the hot dog would be more fun to watch grow up in Hollywood. I can just picture the People cover now. Jessica Simpson lovingly looking down at it, in its little bun. Eric Johnsonholding Maxwell Drew proudly in his arms. The headline “Ketch-ing up With Baby Hot Dog, Growing Faster Than a Ball Park Frank in a Microwave!”
But I suppose we’ll have to wait a few more months and see what she pops out before we can really get to fantasizing. Or 11 more months. You know how it goes with Jessica Simpson and her pregnancies.
All I can really hope for now is that someone’s recording all these charming interviews in Baby Hot Dog’s baby book. Yesterday J. Simps reminded us that he’s a total whoops baby…and that she may or may not know how pregnancy works. How did that stork get in here again Eric!?
And then last night she told Jimmy Kimmel that the pregnancy’s going horribly. Just absolutely dreadful. On a scale from one to ten, she’s at a get-this-thing-outta-me. That’s how the whole wiener thing came up. He’s like “how are things going?” and she spins her head 360 degrees and is like “never knew a wiener could actually make me so nauseous” and Jimmy Kimmel’s like, “um okay, wow, that’s a weird way to tell us you’re having a son and a weird way to talk about your pregnancy and okay, get this on Youtube right away Frank, it’s Internet gold.”