Dukes Of Melrose is a new reality TV show about fashion that premiered last night on Bravo, and let me tell you, it is working pretty pretty pretty hard at finding a coherent theme for itself other than just ‘money money spending money’. For example…meet its two characters. We have Cameron Silver, a collector of couture who terms himself ‘The King Of Vintage’, and his partner in business but not in love, Christos Garkinos. Christos would like us to call him ‘The Robin Hood of Fashion’ because he consigns from the real rich and sells to the…less rich. With characters like that, you’d think that would be all the emotionally-charged plot they’d need, but no! The stakes are heightened by the fact that these two men used to work separately, but now they’ve combined business and work out of the same store, called ‘Decades’. GASP!
It’s a concept rich in plot and conflict, because Cameron buys old clothes for way too much money and is kind of a brat about it, and Christos is likable and frugal and consigns modern clothes to pay for Cameron’s filthy spending habits. Last night, Cameron bought a single Givenchy vintage dress for $10,000 even though Christos had given him a budget of $8,000 – $10,000 for two dresses, the Givenchy one and another one that Nancy Reagan would’ve worn if she was a very rich clown. Luckily they don’t buy that second one, but they’re still ten thousand in the hole, so Christos has to go looking for things to consign from a celebrity stylist. She gives him a Chanel coat, Louboutins, a Balmain dress, and a Prada ombre bag, all of which he will sell in the store and then give her half the proceeds of. It’s actually a pretty sweet deal for everyone involved.
Then they have to dress the comedian Rachael Harris for the Independent Spirit Awards. What a great opportunity to make money off someone to help pay for that Givenchy dress! Except…she wants to wear the Jil Sander dress that one of the store’s employees is wearing, so Decades makes exactly zero money off her. Good job, Cameron, Christos is gon’ be real mad at you. We finish the episode with the always classic line, “You know you’re A-List when someone else poops for you.”
…maybe this show needs a couple weeks to find its groove.