• Wed, Mar 6 2013

Lady Gaga Buys Carp To Help Her Recover From Hip Surgery, But Not For The Reason You’d Expect

Lady Gaga When Lady Gaga isn’t spending quality time with her mannequin friend, she’s got her trusty Japanese carp to keep her company. Gaga bought the expensive fish to help her recover from her recent hip surgery (I think she and Miley Cyrus share the same room in the retirement home), but it’s not for the reason you might think.

My first thought upon reading the headline was that Lady Gaga bought the 27 koi carp to get the calluses off her feet. What? It’s a thing. They did it on The Real Housewives Of New York City. I’m not sure how that would help with her hip, unless Gaga thought there was some connection between her buniony feet (allegedly) and her hip injury. Like maybe her bunions put a hit out on her hip for getting all the attention at concerts, and that’s what led to the injury. You don’t want Lady Gaga walking around with evil bunions, do you? Didn’t think so.

But this is Lady Gaga, so obviously she’s not going to just install a big fish tank in her home for her health. It’s for her entertainment. And you know what? It makes sense. How can Lady Gaga be expected to deal with her illness in a normal person manner? Do you really expect her to lie on her couch alternately sleeping, eating jello and watching Clueless, aka my wisdom teeth removal recovery time, aka the best week couple of days of my life? Gaga doesn’t want to look at a screen all day to be entertained! She needs to witness life in action.

Also the fish appeared to Gaga in a dream, so obviously it was meant to be. My one response to learning this information is the following: that dream must have been horrifying. Were they human-sized fish? Did they talk to her? I can only imagine the dream must have been akin to the Willy Wonka boat ride, the most horrifying horror I have ever witnessed.

I hope Gaga’s assistants count the fish every day to make sure she hasn’t killed one with her bare hands and turned it into a hat.

(Photo: David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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