I want you to ask yourself something. Look down right now. How many pairs of pants are you wearing? If you’re a girl and you’re wearing a skirt, what are you doing? It’s the day time! If you’re a guy wearing a skirt… right on? If you’re not wearing pants at all, I hope you’re not in a public place. If you are wearing pants, you’re probably only wearing one pair, right? Well, I’ve got news for you, single-pantser. You’re not cool. The cool kids are wearing two pairs of pants these days.
At least, that’s what I’ve concluded after glimpsing pictures of Rihanna starting the trend, although I have a lot of questions to ask before I take the leap and double up my breeches to go out on the town tonight. First of all, is that lighter-wash pair full-length, or are they just Tobias Funke cut-offs? Or is Rihanna really fooling us by wearing the pants version of a dickey, and it’s just the top? Would this work with two pairs of overalls? I’m asking that one for a friend. But I suppose the biggest question I have is: Why?
I’d get it if she was trying to avoid checking a bag at the airport so she wore all her clothes on the plane. But she appears to be wearing only one of everything else, and she isn’t at the airport, so that’s a no. Maybe she’s pulling a Joey Tribbiani by wearing all of her friend’s clothes at once? (Could Rihanna be wearing anymore clothes?) But again, why just the pants, and why only two pair?
After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that Rihanna is trying to respond to critics who say she never wears a whole outfit by trying to put a whole outfit together. But I think she went a little overboard on the bottom and didn’t go far enough on top. Because that’s not a full shirt. That’s a child’s shirt at best. Or I guess she could have just been cold and decided to layer. The jacket certainly points to that, but the bare midriff and strappy heels make me think of the girls I used to see in college who would only wear flip-flops, even in below-freezing temperatures. Keep trying, Rihanna. You’ll get the idea eventually.
Between this outfit and Kate Middleton’s courageous choice to go coatless through the Swiss snow (It’s the snowiest of all the snow, I heard once from someone who probably didn’t know what they were talking about), I’m beginning to think the world of celebrity fashion has finally abandoned all logic. I can’t wait to see how Miley Cyrus wears her sweater as a pair of hot pants next week.
(Photos: Palace Lee, PacificCoastNews.com)