What with the recent splits between Michelle Williams and Jason Segel (sniffle) and Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen (sniffle?), and the possible friction between Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck and Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, love really does seem to be having a rough couple of weeks. Not to be outdone by any of those couples, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles now have their own “love is dead” rumors.
As if it wasn’t enough that the pair split up after entire weeks of being seen in public together and standing next to each other, Harry’s tattoo artist is now rubbing salt in our wounds by claiming that Taylor and Harry were never ever ever in love. Since a tattoo artist’s word is always right (I think it’s part of some oath they take), there’s no choice but to accept this as fact and try to move on with our lives.
Freddy Negrete, Harry’s tattoo artist in Los Angeles, is saying there was no spark between the two of them, despite the fact that they had already been fused as one through the name Haylor:
“Harry and Taylor didn’t seem in love at all. There wasn’t a sparkle in Harry’s eye. They were kind and respectful to each other but didn’t have stars in their eyes,” Freddy says. “They seemed more like friends. Harry wasn’t in love and it wasn’t serious for him. They weren’t romantic at all. He was just casual, they weren’t staring into each other’s eyes. Taylor came towards the end of his ship tattoo and sat with him but there was nothing magical going on.”
Not only is it a terrible sign that you’re still not in love with someone after a whole few weeks of dating them, but not having stars in your eyes is like the number one sign that you should just break up with whomever you’re dating. Even having very small comets in your eyes isn’t enough. And it’s so well-known that if you don’t stare into someone’s eyes while they get a tattoo then you might as well just join a convent, because there’s no romance in your future. Unfortunately I don’t think Taylor knew about this rule because she keeps trying and trying to make eye stars and it’s probably going to give her myopia very soon.
Ugh, if it’s not one non-magical trip to the tattoo parlor, it’s another. When will we end this madness?