Have I told you lately about the massive girlcrush I have on NeNe Leakes? Because it’s getting more serious and I may need to act on it soon. The Real Housewives Of Atlanta has been woefully weak on the NeNe-sauce lately, as she’s been in LA filming for Glee and The New Normal, but thankfully all the ladies went to visit her in California this week, so I knew I was gonna get my fix. I just didn’t realize how big of a fix it was fixin’ to be. I might be set for a couple weeks.
Okay so. Knowing they’re going to have guests, NeNe and Gregg have been planning a fancy dinner for a while, with caterers and special drinks and schmancy china. It’s a real shindig, and she’s super excited about it. Now in come the ladies to ruin it. Phaedra missed her flight, so Porsha, Kandi, Kenya, and Cynthia go on without her, only to get stuck in their incredibly practical stretch Hummer limousine. It was so long and practical and efficient that it couldn’t go up the hill, so NeNe had to drive down to retrieve the girls and take them to the house that she rented for them because she didn’t want them staying in her own house and interrupting her TV show beauty sleep. Actually makes sense, and it’s pretty generous considering she fronted the cost. Or…Bravo probably did. But regardless. Dinner was scheduled for 9:00, and everyone was sleepy and slow and lazy and then Phaedra stumbled in from her flight complaining of a headache, and by the time everyone rolled up at NeNe’s house…it was 11:40pm. Aka they were two hours and forty minutes late. Cynthia had called NeNe at like 11:00 when they were still on their way and NeNe told them not to bother coming and then hung up on her, but with some encouragement from Kenya, they decided to show up anyway.
And ohhhhhh girls. Thus began the happiest seven minutes of my reality TV life. In NeNe’s own words, “I got a little splash of crazy and a whole lotta bitch in me,” and we got to see it all come raging out. It was just catchphrase after catchphrase with this lady and that is FO. REE. YULL. She was so upset at her friends for being so late that she wouldn’t even let them come inside, which I think is pretty legit. She was gonna send them away without any food, either, but Gregg relented and brought them out a plate of cheese and crackers or something. She was honestly really upset and felt disrespected, but the other women kept pressuring her to let them come in and eat something and refusing to take it seriously. Kenya wouldn’t stop hugging NeNe and looking in the windows, and Kandi was really enjoying grumbling about how hungry she was and how crappy it was that all they were given was a cheese plate. But my girl NeNe was not to be budged, and even after substantial wheedling in the driveway, she still sent the girls away to get some fast food in their limo. Yes, HONEY. That’s what you get when you mess around with NeNe Leakes. She is no joke.
Other stuff happened in this episode as well — namely an improv class at The Groundlings and various attempts by Porsha to get Kenya fired up, but hardly any of them involved NeNe, so I can’t be bothered.