• Mon, Mar 4 2013

Miley Cyrus Appears To Be Maturing Rapidly, Is Already An Old Blue Hair

Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus is really taking this whole “I’m not Hannah Montana anymore” thing seriously. Some might argue she’s gone too far in making her point.  Getting engaged before she’s legally allowed to toast it with champagne and forcing us to make constant eye contact with her belly button weren’t enough, it seems. Now she’s leaped forward in maturity to become an old blue hair. It all happened so fast, Miley! What happened to your dirty thirties? Your mid-life crisis? Your cougar days? What about your dignified Meryl Streep stage where you can get away with putting your glasses on when you read the teleprompter at award shows? You’ve missed so many important milestones!

Miley was out and about this weekend sporting the new ‘do. Miley claims that it was all a mishap, and we should all stop calling it blue, because it’s not. She tweeted the following explanation:

Miley Cyrus tweetAt least she’s still using the youthful lingo. Although three Rs at the end of “hurrr” is a bit disheartening. There should be at least two more for it to be full-on youth. But the fact that she’s denying that her hair is blue, but rather platinum, which is in fact a silvery color, despite its typical association with edgy blonde girls (You like my color knowledge?), just further proves the blue hair theory. Silvery hair is not youthful. Unless you’re Anderson Cooper, in which case you are an immortal angel and will never grow old.

But Miley claims this was all a big mishap involving her shampoo:

Miley Cyrus twitterApparently Shimmer Lights is a shampoo that corrects yellow tones in blonde hair. But there isn’t really anything correct about her hair turning blue, is there?

Let’s all promise each other that we’ll have a nationwide intervention if Miley starts wearing sensible pumps or buys a station wagon, okay? Once she’s reached the hard-candy-in-the-purse stage she’s probably a goner, though. If there’s nothing else we can do I will take one for the team and adopt her as my new grandma. I already eat dinner at 5 o’clock anyway.

(Photo: Anthony, PacificCoastNews.com)

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