Two worlds that I keep in separate portions of my brain just collided, because Kylie Jenner and Jaden Smith went on a date. Kylie I keep in the reality TV, fame-loving family portion, with her big-butted, heavily made-up, and usually pregnant half-sisters Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim Kardashian. Jaden I keep on the other side, with his hair-flipping sister Willow and his legitimately-famous-for-more-than-a-reality-show-and-a-sex-tape parents Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith. And never the twain shall meet…until now.
The two went on a couple dates in London — once eating dinner at Nobu with Will as a chaperone, and once having lunch at Cafe Nero. Jaden was in London celebrating his friend Justin Bieber‘s ‘worst birthday ever’, although I have no idea what Kylie was doing there. At ages fourteen and fifteen, respectively, neither one of them is old enough to drink at Justin’s circus-themed party, so perhaps they just stood outside the windows and peered in like the little match girl. But even though these two seem like tiny little stretched out babies to me, I s’pose that I will give them my consent to date. After all, it was only a matter of time before Kris Jenner saw the gold at the tips of Jaden’s hair glinting in the sun and sent out on of her shiny-haired magpies to go and fetch it. Television’s hungriest family is conquering new territories every time your back is turned — first Kanye West gets sucked into their funnel cloud, and now Will Smith, too? We must not underestimate these Kardashians, my children, for in the war of the five kings, they may still vanquish us all. Kwinter Is Koming.
…oh man, I’ve been reading way too much Game Of Thrones.
(Image: Palace Lee / Pacific Coast News)