Another day, another Jenelle Evans/Rogers/Crazypants story. Â After reportedly admitting herself to rehab on Tuesday, Jenelle Evans is now “free.” Â Free to do what, you ask? Â Free to get a divorce from her felon husband! Â Free to go to as many Ke$ha concerts as probation will allow! Â Free to clip as many quail feathers into her hair as she wants! Â Free to smoke as muchÂ pawwt as her lungs can hold! Free to continue a million Twitter feuds! Â Free to not be a crappy mother who’s inevitably scarring her young son for the rest of her life! Â Just kidding on that last one.
In case you’d like a full update straight from the horse’s mouth, head on over to Janelle’s Twitter account. Â What I’ve been able to decipher is that she’s single (again), mad at ex-boyfriend Gary Head for cheating on her (again), still not divorced from the felon husband, moving into a new house (again), and focusing on “school and Jace” (again). Oh, and this:
Is there such a thing as Shaken Adult Baby Syndrome? Â Because if so, Jenelle Evans makes me want to do it. Â Which probably means I should reassess my entire life, but not really.
Since I most likely won’t live to see the day where MTV plays actual music and stops financially supporting worthless people, I can find comfort in the fact that Jenelle is paying forward MTV’s kindness by supporting her fair share of worthless people.
If you’re keeping score of Jenelle’s last few months, that’s: 1 quickie marriage to a fellow addict and felon, 1 possibly faked pregnancy, 1 possibly faked miscarriage, 2 ridiculously short rehab stays, 1 hospital stay for cysts and/or heroin withdrawal, and 1 completely neglected-by-his-mother child. Â Thanks, MTV!