5 Things That Make Everyone In The World Inferior To Charlize Theron

So apparently before the Oscars, Charlize Theron was not only busy walking the red carpet and looking absolutely beautiful, she was also occupied by helping a bodyguard who was having a seizure before the start of the show.  She assisted him before calling a doctor, probably saving his life and thus the world.  Let’s go over the things we’ve learned about Charlize Theron lately, shall we?

1.)  She can pair your dad’s haircut with a Christian Dior gown and still be the most beautiful woman in the world:


2.) She can waltz better than half the cast of Dancing With The Stars.  I mean seriously, she had a 2 minute cameo during the opening number of the Oscars and executed a little soft-shoe with more grace and perfection than I will ever have in my entire life.

3.) Most women throw on a pair of bleach-stained yoga pants and a baseball cap when heading out to run errands with their kids.  She looks like THIS when going grocery shopping:


4.) She is close friends with Michael Fassbender.  No word on if she’s been up close and personal with his peen, but still.  It’s enough to make anyone jeally.


5.) She had the balls to pretty much copy Anne Hathaway’s entire Golden Globes look. And had the balls to wear it BETTER.



(Photos: WENN)


You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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    • Ashley

      Charlize Theron is so annoying. WAH WAH WAH I’m a pretty girl that goes ugly to win an Oscar. I’m so over it.

      • X

        Ashley = Loser

      • http://twitter.com/Rosannasfriend Ugonna Wosu

        when did she say that? LOL. Sound jealous.

    • Francie

      I’m totes jeally of her friendship with Fassy!

      • http://twitter.com/cassyhough Cassandra Hough

        That’s my biggest envy point on this list.

    • mse

      Pretty much the most BAMF celebrity to ever celebrity. The more I learn about her, the more I admire this woman. From her wicked sense of humor to her not-so-easy childhood (that’s a fucking understatement of course), she’s a human miracle, and that’s still without counting her impossible looks.

      Ugh, bow to the queen.

    • Alexis

      I used to have flats just like the ones she wears in the grocery pic (except mine were obviously the cheapo version). I wore them to shreds.
      Also Theron and Fassbender are too much pretty for one picture.

    • http://twitter.com/Rosannasfriend Ugonna Wosu

      LOL. Hilarious! Especially the Anne Hathaway part. So true!