Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jimmy addressed the way the Oscars can serve as a commercial for the films honored by the Academy. Apparently, this makes a lot of people want to go out and see some Oscar nominees, which makes sense. However, many were still troubled by the torture depicted in Zero Dark Thirty, so, he said, so they decided to “market it in a completely different way” by turning it into a romantic comedy.
In Zero Dark Flirty, Jessica Chastain plays “a workaholic career girl who couldn’t find the man of her dreams, but she never gave up hope that he was out there. And even if he played hard to get, nothing could stop her from finding the one man she’s been searching for.” Sparks will fly! (And shrapnel.)
It doesn’t mention what she plans to do with him once she finds said dream guy, but I’m sure they will live happily ever after. By which I mean, he will be dead and she will be decorated by the US government. Sometimes we have to sacrifice for the ones we love.
This is a clever re-cut that I wish were longer, as well as being much funnier than Seth MacFarlane‘s dumb joke about a woman’s inability to ever let anything go, as this joke targets the genre clash between action movies and rom-coms and not “women be nagging.” Maybe next he’ll re-cut Silver Linings Playbook to be a movie about dancing.