Let’s All Just Respectfully Agree That Shailene Woodley Is The Ugliest Thing Ever

the perks of being a wallflower 110912I hear you, guys. You’re mad that Shailene Woodley is cast as Mary Jane Watson in The Amazing Spider Man because she’s so incredibly ugly. And I respect that, because it’s such a legitimate complaint that’s not at all rooted in your own pettiness or insecurity. It’s hard to imagine an uglier person than this extremely talented, Academy Award-nominated 21-year old, either inside or out. It’s honestly sad that Shailene ever thought she could amount to anything, as she is so. defiantly. ugly. We’ve already exposed Kristen Stewart for the unsexy wench that we know her to be, we must remain alert, trolls!

Andrew Garfield fixes a broken down car while chatting with a motorcycle riding Shailene Woodley as they continue to film 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2' in BrooklynLuckily, the dedicated ghouls who live under the bridge that is the internet have not let this fact go unnoticed, and when the above picture of Shailene on the Spider Man set surfaced, they got right down to business with such gems as:

“Omg she looks horrible I hope they can do something with that face of hers.”
“Mary Jane is supposed to be hot.”
“Looks horrible as a redhead.”
All excellent points, thank you so much for sharing, guys, and for not allowing yourself to be distracted by her perfect skin, beautiful eyes, or shiny hair, this girl is a major uggo. Mary Jane was not a comic book character created by a pen against paper, but instead a real person in real life, and we dishonor her memory by casting an ugly person to portray her. Especially when everyone knows that Mary Jane was MURDERED in real life by an ugly person! How insensitive! That would be like hiring a car to play your dog in a movie where your dog is killed by being hit by a car. An ugly car. I mean I would watch that movie just to see how it goes, but I would be very indignant the whole time, DON’T WORRY.
Honestly I’m just glad that the people making these comments from their dimly lit hobbit holes didn’t take a second to realize that Shailene wasn’t in hair or makeup yet and was just walking around on set…because it shouldn’t matter! We all made a personal agreement that no one except for identical blond and blue-eyed supermodels are allowed to be successful in this world. This is why I am not allowed to be employed and am instead writing this while chained to a pole in Heidi Klum‘s basement. I’m attractive enough to fetch her night slippers but not attractive enough to deserve your respect, nor is Shailene, so just keep up the good work, everybody.

(Images: FayesVision / WENN.com / Pacific Coast News)

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    • Jarvis

      Um..ok, I get it. People are being too hard on her. But to be honest, Spider-Man purists who have a great affinity for the character of Mary Jane Watson aren’t being shallow and it’s unfair to think of them so simplistically, just like it’s unfair of any troll who can’t find a NICER way to phrase their comments than JUST calling her “ugly” (or sometimes something worse). No, Mary Jane wasn’t a real person, but she is a part of a mythos that many of these people who are complaining genuinely love, and want to be represented faithfully. Not just because some of them wish she WAS real and truly WAS attracted to nerds like Peter Parker (though many of them doubtlessly do wish that), but because she is a pretty awesome character. When they look at the actress playing her, they want to actually be able to buy her as the character they know from the comics. Otherwise, why have her in the movie at all? She is too important to the Spider-Man universe to not take every step possible to make sure she is represented in just the right way. And Mary Jane Watson is not just supposed to be average, everyday “pretty”. She is supposed to be a knockout and a supermodel. Not just any model that gets some work, sometimes, but a friggin’ SUPERMODEL. In this one instance, her being really, really hot actually IS important to her character. It sucks that people are saying such foul things about Shailene Woodley, but she certainly isn’t the ideal choice to play MJ. She’s not hideous. She’s very attractive, in her way, and has a kind of appeal. I’m sure she’s broken a heart or two in her day. But she ISN’T the Mary Jane Watson that Spider-Man fans know and love. The frustration many Spi-hards are feeling with her casting is no doubt compounded because they’re still bitter that they had to deal with Kirsten Dunst, another actress who simply isn’t a top tier choice for MJ, cast in the role in Sam Raimi’s trilogy. Some of these guys just don’t want to see MJ miscast AGAIN, two times in a row. I wish they’d have better manners about expressing their opinions, but hey…it’s the internet age, and when you’re an actor, you deliberately choose to be in the public eye, knowing this sort of thing might happen to you. A peek into the lovely Ms. Woodley’s bank account would probably reveal that she’s been well-compensated for any damage bitter fanboys may have done to her psyche.

    • IamMe

      Shailene Woodley is such a beautiful person, and before you go talking crap about her, make sure you look better than her, Which I highly doubt you do. Because honestly if you put celebrities, like her , down in your free time, you must be really low, and have no life. Sorry that your self esteem is so low that you have to put others down to make you feel better. :)

    • Yoyo

      In all honesty I don’t find her attractive, but I also don’t like her performances she was alright in descendants but ridiculous in divergent and the American teenager show, as MJ is the First Lady of comics she deserves an actress with both.

    • RandomFreak

      People are so shallow, I swear. Man up and woman up, whoever thinks that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, because guess what? It’s not! Everyone is made in the image of God, and God doesn’t make mistakes. Even if you don’t believe in God, you still know that everyone has something beautiful about them, and every person has good in them. Sure, the first picture looks better than the second, but Shailene Woodley is in fact pretty. And for whoever tells her, ‘go eat a hamburger’, well, I’ll eat that hamburger for her and puke it up on you (or I’ll just throw the hamburger at you). No, I wouldn’t do that…I don’t believe in revenge, just forgiveness…but really, I mean, come on! People these days can be such hypocrites. I hate when men or women say that ‘real men like curvy girls’, and, ‘only dogs go for the bones’. Guess what? I’m naturally skinny. I’m not anorexic. I’m not super skinny, but I’m not average either. There’s nothing wrong with me or any other skinny person as long as we’re healthy. Sure, Marilyn Monroe had a nice figure. Men rant and rave about Jennifer Lawrence (and honestly, it gets a bit annoying). Are some of you seriously going to say that Kristen Stewart, Emma Watson, Shailene Woodley, and any other skinny-yet-not-anorexic girl deserves any less than an average or a curvy girl (nice, tight a double s, c-cup boobs or bigger than ‘too small’ and smaller than ‘too big’, curly/curvy/hourglass figure)? If so, hush yo mouth, chile, or get a life and stop critizing others when they’re human just like you. Thank you for your service. Have a nice life!

    • Accept

      This is meant as sarcastic, but still, all those BITCHES out there who can’t even tell when it’s a person’s natural beauty, or a a newbie makeup artist. She IS a wonderful woman inside and out

    • Hunter Hughes

      This whole article makes me laugh. Shailene is beautiful inside and out. Your just jealous cause she’s actually talented and unique and your sad and basic. I hope one day you meet her and realize how wrong you are

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I hope someday you discover satire and come back and re-read this post.

    • alisenn92

      i agree that shailene Woodley is just fugly…I thought Hollywood was supposed to be about talented and attractive people- why are the new stars just weirdos, and old stars now too..what happened to gen x stars, theyre gone, now its the new millennials of weirdos. im sick of Jennifer Lawrence overplayed loser and shailene Woodley is atrocious and not even a good actress…its frustrating when average blah people are suddenly famous .. there is nothing special about shailene Woodley- she is just an average loser. the fact that she’s a huge actress is pretty disturbing.. Jennifer Lawrence isn’t stunning either- and shes so overplayed its getting sickening. There are far more attractive AND talented people out there but they’ll never be famous, but the next famous loser is some fugly weird female who is a weirdo.. im sure people are defending her because she ISnt that hot…if she were they’d be hating on her…

    • johnson12345

      There are enough ugly people in real life, I shouldn’t have to watch them trying to portray beautiful people on my screen. You can’t make the excuse that of course she is ugly when she is out of make-up either, because most girls are prettier when they aren’t hiding behind powder and dye. This girl should be the one hiding in a hobbit hole, how dare she come onto my TV uninvited with that crooked ugly mouth and dead soulless eyes. I shouldn’t have to be exposes to a fizzog like that when i’m trying to escape the harshness of existence.

    • Hi

      haha this is funny because i think she is the most beautiful person… seriously, she’s my dream girl.