• Thu, Feb 28 2013

Jennifer Lawrence Caught Smoking A Not-Cigarette, Also Looking Disheveled

Jennifer Lawrence spirt awadsOh no Jennifer Lawrence. What have you done? Or I should say what haven’t you done? The good folks at the New York Daily News bravely called you out today for not doing your hair in the same way that you did it during awards season. Keep in mind, these are the same courageous people who told Mila
Kunis to stop being ugly
. We’re so lucky to have these kinds of people out there, looking out for celebrities and making sure they’re fully aware of when they look gross.

“While in Hawaii Lawrence wore her tresses wavy and disheveled, a clear difference from the salon straightened look.”

It’s like she doesn’t understand that after you look good once, you have to look good forever. I don’t want to hear, “but I thought I was safe from criticism because I was in my private hotel room!” She needs to know right now that for the rest of her life, we all expect her to look red carpet ready at all times. Sleeping and showering and exercising is no excuse not to look like you just left a salon. And frankly it’s a little disturbing that she doesn’t understand that. I’m not saying we should take away her Oscar, but I’m also not saying that we should let her keep it.

And to insult to injury, she smoked a non-cigarette with her disheveled hair. Marijuana? Well New York Daily News doesn’t want to make that call, so we’ll all pretend like we don’t know what they’re trying to say with their title “Jennifer Lawrence unwinds after Oscars in Hawaii with wine, suspicious-looking cigarette.” After all, maybe it’s just suspicious because it committed a crime before being inserted into J.Law’s mouth. I saw that once on an episode of Cigarettes On The Run: True Stories From Our Country’s Most Notorious Smokes. One time a cigarette hid out from the cops by hanging out between Rihanna’s lips. In fact, it even let itself be photographed because no one would suspect a guilty cigarette would do that.

Sadly this whole smoking thing would be a total non-issue if only J.Law straightened her hair first, put on spanx and walked around her hotel room in a designer gown. Then no one would care what she did. Bring on the meth labs!

(Photo: Thomas Janssen, Pacificcoastnews.com)

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  • Alexis Rhiannon

    My Miss America platform is stricter punishments for parole violations and guilty cigarettes, Jenni.

    • Jenni

      Even for first time cigarette offenders?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here and the US should help the US and should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we are able to build up our future.

      …does that answer your question?

    • Jenni

      It more than answers my question! It’s like you read my mind and answer ALL my questions. About everything.

  • absnow

    She is such a bad influence! Hours later, sweet, innocent Josh Hutcherson was photographed on a similar balcony with a similarly suspicious looking cigarette!

    • Jenni

      And just moments ago I heard word that kids across America are now also experimenting with suspicious cigarettes.

    • Edithe Renee

      It’s true. And it’s AMAZING! Seriously thought, better than being piss drunk and unable to function.

  • Unicorn

    Just think about how times have changed. It’s actually better for her image to smoke a joint than a regular cigarette. But really what is disturbing is the disgusting invasion of privacy. Can someone pleases explain to me how it is not a crime to peer into someone’s hotel room with a telescopic lens?

    • Jenni

      Yeah it’s pretty crazy they got that photo of her INSIDE her hotel room. There have to be some boundaries.

  • mypalfish

    Looks like Jennifer is well on her way to ending up a permanent stoner like Miley Cyrus. Next will be ugly tattoos.

  • Jules

    EXCELLENT article, Jenni!. Holy sh*t, can the paps just give the woman some privscy and let her relax???…leave her alone because this is a nonstory.

  • Jules

    *privacy*.

  • me

    This was hilarious,, thank you!

  • mse

    I cried tears of laughter reading the article as usual. xD And the dreaded campaign to discredit JLaw starts now…
    Seriously though, it’s not like she was advertising weed, she – falsely – believed that she has a minimal privacy in her own freaking hotel room, so she relaxed with a friend in her own frickin’ private way. I actually remember an interview where she was asked about marijuana usage, and she said quote “I can’t answer that, I’m in a franchise.”

  • gypsum0

    Buzzfeed has photos of Peeta Mellark also canoodling with an obviously guilty cigarette. Funny how you search Jennifer Lawrence and every single featured article is in relation to these pictures yet if you search Peeta’s most common pseudonym, not a single article mentions it.

    I get she just won an Oscar and has exploded all over everyone’s internet (which personally I don’t mind). But seriously, can’t a girl just get high.

    • Jenni

      Yeah, but maybe his guilty cigarette is wanted on lesser charges. Like shoplifting.

    • Jen90

      No if you’re a celeb it will be in the media so if you don’t want your business out there either don’t do it or don’t become a celeb, simple as that.

  • http://twitter.com/LynGu1977 LG

    She has a fat smoosh face too.

    • Jenni

      You have a face shaped like an egg. So I don’t know if you should be talking.

    • Jen90

      LG Yeah she does.lol Jenni I don’t think you should be talking crap to your readers. We have a right to are own opinions about celebs just like you.

  • megan

    this is the most shittest article I have ever seen; let her do what the fuck she wants

    • Jenni

      Before I respond, I’d love to learn what qualifies for shittest, so I can fully understand how I won the award for MOST shittest. I mean, thank, you. But I am confused.

    • DobisP.R

      Wow you wrote a sarcastic article mocking the press, how witty of you!!

    • http://twitter.com/vanesssavieira Vanessa Vieira

      how is this the “most shittest” article? they are obviously mocking the tabloids about her smoking a “non-cigarette” and “looking disheveled” – how do you not read the sarcasm? this site loves jennifer lawrence and definitely does not care whether or not she smokes a suspicious looking cigarette.

  • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

    jenni you are on fire with this post. Just great.

  • Lpdt

    This is hilarious!

  • Ivs

    Everytime I read something about her I fall in love with her even more and now I don’t even think it’s possible. I almost want to kill myself because I fucking HATE fawning over a celebrity I don’t know – I’m a grown ass woman for gods sake – but MAN we would be the best of friends.

    Looks like she had the most chill evening with her friend: in a beautiful place with good conversation, some peace and quiet, wine, and a joint. She’s awesome, just hope that the weed thing doesn’t get her in trouble with her family or those close to her! We might expect our celebrities to do drugs but she seems so close to her family and they seem like really good people – have you seen the pictures when her family runs up to her after the Oscars to group-hug her?

    I know I’m not ashamed of my weed habit: sometimes you just want to relax and it ain’t no different from opening a bottle of wine in your couch while watching a movie on a friday night. But I do know though that even if my parents were okay with it, they would most definitely not be okay with the entire world knowing. So here’s to her not getting in trouble!

    Come to think of it, I think I feel like rolling one myself..

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