• Wed, Feb 27 2013

Kate Gosselin Reminds Us How Much She Loves Feeling Sorry For Herself On Celebrity Wife Swap

kate gosselin wife swap

I felt pretty stupid after watching last night’s season premiere of Celebrity Wife Swap starring Kate Gosselin and Kendra Wilkinson. Mostly because I somehow let myself forget how much I dislike Kate Gosselin. She’s simply the worst!

Which I hate because way back in the early days of Jon & Kate Plus 8, I used to defend her. Of course she’s a heinous bitch, but she’s the mother of twins and sextuplets. If she comes off as anal-retentive and unloving it’s only because she’s has to be to maintain order in that house. It’s not like Jon Gosselin ever made her life easier. The show made that much clear.

But then fame went to her head, she quit her job as a nurse, moved into a mansion and hired all kinds of help. Nannies, bodyguards, housekeepers. Suddenly it became hard to sympathize with the women who lives a life of luxury. I didn’t begrudge her success  but I also didn’t buy her whole “I’m just a regular mom” schitck anymore. Unless of course I’m unaware of the large demographic of mothers of multiples who made it big after starring on a reality show.

When people finally tired of her act, she disappeared from our lives. And things were good. Then she re-emerged last night on the show and reminded us just how qualified she is at leading her very own pity parade.

As a secret lover of all things Wife Swap, I know the deal with the show. Two moms from completely different families switch places for a week, struggle with their new families, learn some valuable lessons and then go home and change virtually nothing about their own lives. I think the predictability of it is what keeps me coming back to it. Every single time, these women are shocked, just shocked that this other family lives so differently than their family. Celebrity Wife Swap is no different. The celebs are just more aware of being in front of the cameras, so they reign themselves in a lot more.

So Kendra arrives at a huge house in Pennsylvania that clearly houses a giant family. She wonders “who lives here?” As if she really can’t figure it out. Hmmm a reality star who lives in Pennsylvania and has a lot of children. Who can it be? Eventually she finds a photo and is like “ZOMG, Kate Gosselin and her 400 kids live here, I’ll never be able to do this!”

Meanwhile Kate arrives to Kendra’s house in California and meets Hank Baskett and Little Hank. Sidenote: Little Hank’s adorable. He also attends school fulltime, has a nanny fulltime and is seemingly well-behaved. Kate’s immediately jealous — and expresses that by finding faults with the way he’s being raised. “It’s ridiculous that Hank’s so nice to Kendra!” she says throughout the episode. Because one time she was married, but it was too a man-child with questionable hair. And since she’s had an unhappy marriage, everyone must have an unhappy marriage. No one will be happy until Kate is happy!

Back to Kendra. She meets the kids and they’re amazingly well-behaved. This worries her because children should be running amuck and setting fires to things and flushing expensive jewelry down the toilet. There’s a point where she watches them do chores and actually cries because CHORES! Naturally when it’s her turn to change the rules, she shuts down Kate’s forced labor program and lets the kids run free. And by run free, I mean eat tacos on the basement floor picnic style. Because that’s what all kids crave. Dinner on the floor! She’s surprised because they’re all like, “actually we like eating at tables and other places where people can’t step on our food.” So she gives up on her grand “let kids be kids” experiment and allows them to eat at the table.

To be completely honest, the kids  seemed to be pretty normal for a bunch of kids raised by Jon and Kate on a reality show. I’ll credit the household help for that and hope they continue on this trajectory. Also, I kinda like Mady. She turned out pretty cool.  And that’s all you need to know about that part of the show.

Now travel with me back to California where Kate attempts to explain family time to Hank. She’s all, “kids don’t belong in school, they belong with their parents!” So she takes Hank out of school, a place where he’s probably surrounded by age-appropriate activities and peers and spends the day with him. She’s like “LOOK HANK, HE LOVES IT! HE LOVES ME! LET’S TRADE KIDS!” Also on her agenda? Teaching Little Hank how to sit at a table and eat dinner like an adult. In other Wife Swap episodes, these scenes are actually entertaining because the kids literally cannot behave. However Little Hank clearly can behave pretty well for a toddler at a dinner table. So Kate just nitpicks the kid the whole meal and is like, “seeeee Hank, he needs more structure,” — completely forgetting that he attends a school daily that likely has plenty of structure.

After Kate reteaches Hank Baskett how to parent his son, she tells us the valuable lesson she learned from this whole swap.  Just like Kendra, she needs more me time. She needs to stop feeling guilty about thinking about herself and really just dive right into it. Because in case you forgot, she’s alllll alone in this lonely world. Pooooor Kate. She returns to her house full of children with the express intent of making more time for Kate. Like I said  it’s amazing how great those kids are turning out considering everything. It’s also amazing how much Kate wanted to freak out during this episode, but reined her emotions in so that it just looked like she wanted shoot lasers out of her eyeballs.

Also I just want it on the record (because I think I work for a law firm) that a running theme of the entire episode is that Kate does everything on her own. The kid-raising, the house-cleaning, the dog-feeding. All of it! That’s why she makes Hank fire his housekeeper and nanny for the days when she gets to make rule changes. If she can do it all alone with 8 kids, anyone can!

Yet, she wrote a blog for The Stir in January bemoaning the loss of her longtime cleaning lady. A cleaning lady she presumably had when this show filmed last fall. So just want to leave that tidbit there.  As I said earlier, it’s totally cool if Kate has help. She has 8 kids, she certainly deserves an extra hand or two. But it’s not cool for her to tell us how hard it is to do it all on her own when she’s not.

(Photo: Xfinity)

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  • notthesquash

    One point I think you are missing about little Hank being in school… Most ordinary 3 and 4 year olds who go to preschool are at school 2 hours a day, for about 3 days a week. Kate said little Hank is in school all day every day. All day Daycare becomes necessary when both parents are working full-time… but In Kendra and Hanks situation, it looks like they just hang out at the pool all day and enjoy their money – so why is the baby in school all day? Most working-class parents would tell you they would rather spend more time with their kids and not have them in daycare all day. The point is they have no excuse for missing out on getting to know their son…

    • Jenni

      I have a feeling it’s an expensive preschool program where it’s normal for children to go five days a week. Mostly because they do yoga there.

  • k12

    Have to admit I can’t blame Kate for being so engrossed in her children that she does just that. How many stay at home moms or just mothers in general really ever do something just for them? When you go away, and don’t think about your kids etc.. Till we are in Kate’s shoes no body should be so hateful. Her kids have survived a divorce that was in the spot light. They appreciate routine, and structure. Kids, and adults, responsible adults, crave structure. I was impresses. Kendra is spoiled rotten. Grow up girl.

    • Hello, K12?

      Good God. ‘engrossed in her children’??? I wholeheartedly invite you to visit us here in Reading, PA. I will happily escort you around and show you just how UN-engrossed Kate is with her children when the cameras aren’t rolling.

    • Terri Brunson

      We all know first hand…these nieve people like Jenni, K12 and others who don’t understand this women diabolical attitude need to see it first hand. They all think that Kate is this perfect angel of a so call mom..they need a visit to Reading, PA Kate is not who everyone think she is

    • http://twitter.com/lukebandit lukebandit

      Thank you for posting. Can’t wait for Robert Hoffmans re edited book to come out. Just a guess, may be on her birthday! hahaha

    • LR

      Ummm, Kate regularly tans, has manicures and pedicures and runs regularly – which she says is her ME time. She also takes regular overnight trips to NYC to have her hair done. Factor in the time the kids are with their Dad, which is every other weekend and time during the week plus all the week long trips she takes without the kids and I’d say she has more than her share of ME time.

    • http://twitter.com/urbanlove marybeth

      Her kids are used to structure because they have no choice. They don’t just do simple chores. They seem to do most of the work. I wonder if Princess does any house work. Well, other than when a camera is in front of her. Don’t get me wrong simple chores are good for kids but, these kids are run like the Military. There’s a fine line and she’s crossed it!

    • Terri Brunson

      Kate crossed the line tremendously with this military style of doing chores

    • http://twitter.com/lukebandit lukebandit

      The boy that was doing the packing lunches and gathering all the bags was scared stiff and had a look of horror on his face. That poor baby! and the 3 boys totally responsible for the care of 50 chickens. that greedy witch! she sells the eggs and keeps the money for herself.

  • Melf Logan

    It amazing how you can hate someone based on what you see on television without even knowing the person. My point is you do not know this women personally but because what you seen on television you can’t stand her. What if your life was put into the limelight would people hate you because of what they think they know about you or because of what they truly know about you. Kate has eight wonderful kids and it’s not because of other people it’s because SHE raised her kids and molded them into beautiful people. Also she made the comment about little Hank taking a break from preschool because he spent the whole day there. That means he is in school for more then 8 hours a day. The boy is 3 years old not 23 years old and school should not feel like a job. The next time you run off at the mouth about someone you DO NOT KNOW please don’t.

    • Jenni

      How do you feel about Kate telling everyone she had no housekeeper on the show and then writing a blog about her long-time housekeeper leaving?

    • GetAClueMelf

      The monster otherwise known as Kate Gosselin lives in my town. She is evil. Pure evil. You need to understand that TV shows are edited BIG TIME. What you see on TV is NOT what you get in real life when it comes to Kate Gosselin.

    • Terri Brunson

      Melf has no clue, how much Kate has fooled the world until you lived in the same town and saw her and how she acts with my own eyes, she’s hardly with those kids…only if the cameras rolling.

    • Ingrid_in_Wis

      How you can be a fan of someone and think they are a wonderful mother based on what you see on television without even knowing the person? OR believe everything they say is the gospel truth. “Honestly” You don’t know if it is the truth if you are not in personal contact with her.

    • Terri Brunson

      I’ve been in contact with the bitch…Jenni is nieve as hell, she is a total diabolical monster,

    • http://twitter.com/lukebandit lukebandit

      It makes me sick because we all know if she acts like that in public, what is she really acting like at home with those children. She hit Emeril Lagasse 2 times with the big red spatula! He was rubbing his arm, because it was stinging! After the 2nd time he turned around and looked at her like WTH? And her face, i promise morphed into a DEMON FACE. Her face went triangle! She probably thought for a second it was one of the boys! This is on youtube. look up Jon and kate plus 8 Emeril Lagasse 100 episode. Jon told Emeril they were celebrating their 100 episode and Emeril said, I don’t see how you made it. It made Emeril sick after all that food he cooked that the kids had to eat it off the prison issue plastic trays. I can’t stand her just for that, despise everything else she does to the kids! Next time she parks in a handicapped space, fire lane please take a picture of it and send it to the State Police and Radaronline. Or seeing her speeding get her tag number and call the STATE POLICE, not local. they do not care. she should of lost her license years ago. She will cry i have to work, take the kids to the bus stop, shop grift club hair appointments tanning medipedis i have to have a license to do this. EVIL MONSTER!

  • Winter

    I think you were very harsh on kate. I didnt watch her tlc show but i did watch most of last nights episode and she has done a great job with her kids. If she had nannies before it makes sense because taking care of that many kids when their toddlers would be insane to do it all on your own without any help! With that said looks like the kids have never been spoiled even with the extra help. Kendra on the other hand came off as a spoiled brat. I dont agree with your take on this article….

    • WakeUpWinter

      Um, hello? She STILL has nannies and THEY are raising the kids.

    • http://twitter.com/lukebandit lukebandit

      You ok the kids working like mules as soon as they walk in the door from school till they drop dead in the bed? She forces those 3 boys to muck the chicken you know what, the dog you know what and feed and muck up 50 chickens and gather the eggs because she can sell them organic and makes a lot of money on it. The reason she became a MONSTER about their clothes by drilling in their head to not get stains on their clothes. NO STAINS PERIOD so they would be in mint conditon when they outgrew them so she could take them to the consignment shop and MAKE MONEY! She lies everytime she opens up her mouth. She told kendras GF’s that she had been at a club just one time in her life! She has been to many many clubs. Remember the one where the strange man licked her foot? And the kids saw that. how sickening. She instantly hated Kendra’s Rosa. kate told Hankjr that she was going to take care of him and he told her you not care me. Way to go HANKJR!

  • LolaBro

    Great post and you are spot on! Kate is nothing but a phoney. She admitted on Katy Couric that she has help 15-20 hours a week that’s with no job and the kids gone 9 hours. I’m sure she is jealous of Kendra

  • http://twitter.com/urbanlove marybeth

    Amen! Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Did she really say she needs more me time? Kids in school all day. Tanning, Nail appointments and lets not forget her weekend trips to New York just to get her hair done. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/carol.ashline Carol Ashline

    Thank you Jenni for hitting the nail firmly on the head!

  • ifarted

    so let me get this straight…when the TLC show was on that camera-hog and she was raking in five to six-figures per episode, it was OK. but after the cameras left and the only thing left were her kids (remember, it was HER choice to have some many kids after twins. twins aren’t enough?), a big house, and her nasty attitude…she has to complain on her twitter and then on that ‘swap’ show about the unfairness of her life? she is ugly…inside and out (despite all that exercising, she has the flattest backside this side of an IHOP!). boo-hoo! i need a FREE vacation like i used to get for years on TLC’s dime. and give me some pancakes while you’re at it!

  • 1cantstandkate1

    “It’s not like Jon Gosselin ever made her life easier.” Really? You claim to have watched J&K Plus 8. Did you not see JON get up every morning, get the twins up; washed, fed, dressed and off to school; prepare Kate’s coffee to her exacting specifications and deliver it to her bedside (while she slept in until 8 AM every morning); drive an hour to work; work a full day; drive an hour back home; talk to, cuddle, play with and engage with the children; feed the kids; bathe the kids; and put the kids to bed. In addition, Kate mentioned several times that Jon was the one who got up with the kids at night. All Kate did all day was abuse the kids and confine them to their cribs for 4 hour naps. Most women would kill to have a husband who made their lives so difficult.

    • Jenni

      The Jon I remember now is the guy who turned into an Ed Hardy model, dated young women and moved into a one-bedroom in NYC. He have helped out when they were babies, but it sounds like he checked out of the family between those early days and the mid-life crisis days.

    • 1cantstandkate1

      The Ed Hardy wear was PRODUCT PLACEMENT, just like the Ann Taylor Loft was for Kate before she decided dressing like a slut was good for her career. TLC was behind the NYC apartment. being abused for years will cause people to do some strange and stupid things. Jon spent about 6 months, 4 years ago, acting like a fool, but no one will allow him to forget it or move on. Kate’s spent most of the last 6 years acting like a fool, and people bow down and lick her foot. Just ask anyone who lives in the Berks/Lancaster Co. area who the real parent to those kids is. I can guarantee you it’s not Kate. Jon is the one who supports their school activities, attends meetings, and spends actual time with the kids. Kate, not so much, unless there’s a photo op involved.

    • Jenni

      Jon?

    • 1cantstandkate1

      What, Kate?

    • Jenni

      No Jenni. The same person who wrote the post calling Kate horrible….

    • 1cantstandkate1

      And clearly,I’m not Jon. I don’t know Jon. I do know what I’ve observed from watching the show and from what friends of mine from the area, who do know him, have told me.

    • 1cantstandkate1

      What, Kate?

    • Trish

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure that is Jon, or perhaps his assistant and/or girlfriend.

  • Surgass

    Omg, you said EVERTHING I was thinking. Great blog.

  • Surgass

    Kate is a hypocrite, she has had more face lifts than children. Her hair extentions tell how fake she is. I’m sorry, but her kids need to be taken away so they can have a life. What mom gets infamy from having children? You rock Kendra, at least you’re honest.

  • Terri Brunson

    Let Melf, Jenni, Winter, K12, and Ingrid stay in the dark to this monster Kate Gosselin, they don’t know first hand the kind of person Kate really is when the cameras not rolling, Kate love people like them, in the dark, keep them thinking she’s this so called Angel with silky wings, We’ve dealt with the monster with the dirty wings, satan

    • Ingrid_in_Wis

      Don’t lump me in with those crazy fanatical gullible fans. I was making the point that FANS know nothing also but what they see when watching shows with Kate or the lies that come out of Kate’s mouth. They accuse us “haters” (truthers) of not truly knowing Kate because of what we see edited on tv. Just because Kate SAYS something does not make it truth. They are quick to say ‘oh look Kate debunked that myth” JUST because it came out of her lying mouth. When someone has a credible example of her true personality or a lie they plug their ears (eyes) and go la la la. Instead of really thinking about it.

      Fans shut their eyes to the inconsistencies, contradictions, tall tales, exaggerations and lies Kate has told. They think she farts rainbows. . The fans may as well worship a cartoon character– it is just as true. Too many in contact with Kate have seen her true side and I believe them over a greedy fame wh*** ‘s words.

      So sorry for those in her area. I am glad I don’t have to run into her. I would have to say something..

  • Chablis

    Can’t stand that Kate encourages people to take their kids out of school for no good reason. What kind of a mother does that ?

  • http://twitter.com/lukebandit lukebandit

    hey Terri, if you want to, come and join us at 15 Minutes Gosselin Style. We are considered haters, but we hate the way kate lies, grifts, steals, and the horrific way she treats her children and Jon too. Can you believe on the CWS trailer that she said that she separated and divorced in 2011!!! What an IDIOT! She missed it by 3 years. Have anyone in the area seen Steve Neild lately? We are wondering if he took off. I know he made millions off these kids all thanks to kate Gosselin. She needs to go back to Kreider. Here is my email lukebandit@gmail.com

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